


Money (That's What I Want)

by Holtzmann_lover



Series: Can't Buy Me Love [2]
Category: Yesterday (movie)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Music Tour, Poor bb, debra has a lot going on, read if you like angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2020-10-14 12:07:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 29,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20600516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holtzmann_lover/pseuds/Holtzmann_lover
Summary: Avery is on the road for her first tour. But when Debra gets a concerning phone call, things go south quickly.





	1. Los Angeles

“So the tour starts next weekend, you’re gonna be more famous than ever, how do you feel?” Lily asked in an interview voice. They were laying on Lily’s bed in her house with their feet up, resting against the wall.

Avery put on her best interviewing voice as well. “I’m very honored and excited that I got this opportunity and I hope I give the fans what they want. Next question.” 

They both laugh at each other.

“I can’t believe you’re letting me come with,” Lily gushed in her normal voice. 

“You should believe it! You’ve been my best friend for over a decade!” Avery said and Lily became a little shy.

“Do you want to order a pizza?” She asked.

Avery gave her an apologetic look, “Sorry, I have a date with Debra in like two hours.” She checks her Apple Watch and nods when she realizes she’s correct.

“Yeah, best not to eat. You don’t want Debra getting pissy at you because you ate before,” Lily joked 

Avery rolled her eyes. Lily and Debra weren’t exactly friends but they got along. They hung out once because Avery made them get to know each other. It went fine, but they had completely different personalities that tended to clash.

If Avery was being completely honest, she was nervous about this date. Their relationship had been alright but they had some differences when it came to the tour. They separated their work and love life but it was hard when they lived together. They were getting by.

“Anyways, I’m meeting her at the restaurant since I’m already here,” Avery explained. “Can I borrow something to wear?”

“Help yourself,” Lily waved and put on some music.

Avery decided on a dark blue dress with black wedges. She preferred some type of boot but she hadn’t really been thinking before she left her house. She would have to make do. Besides, Debra had stated before that she enjoyed seeing Avery in more feminine clothes at times too.

“You look hot,” Commented Lily. “Can I do your makeup?”

Avery agreed and sat down on the toilet seat while Lily grabbed her makeup bag and got to work. She went for a natural look and after she curled Avery’s hair and ran her hands through it to make it wavy. Avery thought Lily could be a cosmetologist but Lily had her heart set on being an artist. Lily insisted that this was a hobby only.

“You should get going. It’s dark already and you have a half hour left until you need to be there! Text me how it goes. Goodbye,” Lily shoved her out the door. Avery took an Uber to the restaurant because she took an uber to Lily’s.

Avery got out of the uber when they arrived at her destination and she got out. She couldn’t spot Debra right away, but Debra had texted her and told her that she was there already. She stood outside the restaurant and looked for her and sighed in relief when Debra walked over to her.

“You look great,” Debra said and Avery smiled.

“You do too,” She said back.

And it was true. Debra was wearing a slimming black dress. She didn’t wear dresses often but Avery loved when she did. She thought Debra had the best body with great curves and when Debra wore a dress, she got to check them out. Normally, Debra would wear a blazer to a date but this restaurant was too fancy for just a blazer. Debra owned one suit as well and never wore it. It was more just for show.

Debra leaned closer to her and cupped her hand around her mouth to make it louder, “Paparazzi at two o’clock.” 

It wasn’t a guy with a huge camera. Just a small one. But she should have known better. Many celebrities ate at this particular restaurant. She was becoming more famous as the days went on. Someone was bound to take her picture.

Avery looked over but Debra put her own hand up, shielding the side of her face. “Don’t look,” She scolded through gritted teeth.

Avery knew it was for the best. She tended to go online often and google herself. She knew it wasn’t a good idea but she couldn’t help it. She wanted to know what people thought of her. Debra said it wasn’t important but that made her more nervous.

“Let’s go inside,” Debra said and Avery agreed. They were seated immediately since they had reservations. They sat in a small corner of the restaurant where no one could see them.

Avery had confirmed all the articles and rumors about her and Debra dating. Debra didn’t want to become famous and being Avery’s girlfriend, she was going to gain some attention. Avery respected her decision and didn’t post anything on social media about their relationship.

Debra lifted up her wine glass, “A toast to the next few weeks.”

Avery lifted hers up as well, “To the next few weeks,” She nodded.

And they clanged their glasses together, not knowing where the next few weeks would take them.

  
  



	2. Los Angeles Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avery packs for tour.

Avery was struggling to figure out how much she should pack. Should she pack extra? Extra was always good, but they had a small tour bus and she didn’t know how she would wash everything. She really needed to ask Debra what she was bringing. Snowflake was sitting in one of Avery’s suitcases, panting heavily. Avery and Debra had picked up early on that Snowflake had a lot of separation anxiety. Avery guessed it was because Snowflake’s previous family left him behind when they moved.

Debra walked in from doing errands. It was past ten at night and she had been staying later at the studio with her other clients before they went on tour, trying to get everything organized. It was a big task and Avery didn’t know how Debra handled it all. 

“Why aren’t you packed?” Debra asked after giving Avery a kiss.

“Snowflake said I can’t,” Avery shrugged. “Oh, I meant to ask, I know you said no, but are you sure we can’t bring him along?”

Debra gave Avery her signature ‘are you serious?’ look. Debra had lots of signature looks but Avery knew this one best.

“So that’s a no?” Avery asked and Debra’s look sharpened. “I’m having a hard time reading your face.” Avery said.

“Snowflake will be fine with the other dogs at the kennel,” Debra told her and Avery frowned. She knew she wouldn’t be able to change Debra’s mind though so she pushed the thought away.

“Um, how much should I bring?” Avery wonders.

“I just bring everything really,” Debra shrugged which made Avery laugh. Debra snapped her fingers to get Snowflake to listen. He responded by laying in the suitcase, which made Debra frustrated. She grabbed his collar that’s around his neck and slightly pulled on it to get him to follow her. Avery dumps clothes in as soon as he climbs out so he can’t get back in.

  
  


* * *

Debra and Avery worked together as a team to finish packing Avery’s stuff. As more stuff went in the suitcase, Avery found herself getting more nervous. The fact that she was going on tour was surreal to her and she was very grateful for the opportunity. She just hoped she made Debra proud too.

Even though Avery had laughed at Debra nearly bringing every piece of clothing she owns, she wasn’t far off from herself. The couple was able to jam everything into two suitcases and yanked the zipper closed. They both agreed not to touch the bag until necessary in case it popped back open.

Debra wrapped her arms around Avery’s waist from behind her, making Avery’s heart flutter. Debra used to not be touchy at all, even with people close to her. Since getting together with Avery she had gotten better. There were definitely still times where Debra struggled to show affection and didn’t know what to do, but they made it work. Debra had her own ways of showing love whether it was grabbing food for Avery on her way home or taking a minute to place her hand on Avery’s back when they were next to each other. But she was  _ trying.  _

“Hey, wanna make use of our jacuzzi one more time?” Debra whispered in Avery’s ear after resting her chin on her shoulder.

“Are you suggesting we have sex?” Avery questioned, grinning at Debra.

“Weeeeell maybe,” Debra admitted and Avery responded by pulling away and taking her tank top off quickly before walking to the bathroom, leaving Debra in her steps.

  
  


* * *

The tub was hot with bubbles and Debra climbed in first. Avery followed her and Debra lightly touched her hip. Avery got the message and gently sat on Debra, straddling her. Avery was the only person who knew this, but there were only a couple of situations where Debra was completely vulnerable. The shower and jacuzzi were one of those. Avery had no idea why and maybe even Debra herself didn’t know. When they had sex in bed, Debra was anything but vulnerable, always wanting to be the dominant one. This was different which was why Avery loved it when Debra suggested showers and baths in the jacuzzi together.

Debra placed her hands on Avery’s hips and Avery responded by taking her head in her hands and kissing her. The kiss was passionate and seductive. Avery let her hands travel down the sides of Debra’s breasts, catching her off guard. Avery always believed that Debra had the best boobs. They were the perfect size and always made Avery weak when she touched them. But she became off guard as well when Debra stroked her clit without warning. She let out a moan and Debra took over, pleasuring her.

  
  


* * *

Debra laid her head on the side of the jacuzzi as she came down from the high, breathing heavily. Avery never failed to deliver and always left Debra panting and wanting more. Avery stroked her boobs more in a loving way as she watched her control her breathing. Sex was always amazing with Debra and if she wasn’t exhausted from packing, she would go for a second or even a third time. Debra wrapped her hands around Avery and pulled her forward so she laying against her chest. It was a big enough jacuzzi to where they could stretch their legs out comfortably. Debra was very proud of the purchase.

If Avery was being honest, she was very nervous about the tour. Of course, she was nervous about messing up the lyrics to her songs or tripping on stage. But what she was mostly worried about was how Debra would act. During the time when Avery was in the middle of recording an album, she was slightly more harsh with her, even at home. When Avery was on a break from the studio, Debra was a bit more relaxed. She was afraid that these intimate moments between her and Debra would go away completely.

She felt a kiss on her cheek and she smiled. Maybe she should focus on the now instead of what will happen in the weeks to come.

“Hey, I’m super proud of you,” Debra told her and she smiled. After sex was really the only time where Avery got to see Debra let out her emotions. other times she would have to guess how Debra was feeling.

“Yeah?” Avery asked, unsure of herself. Debra squeezed her a little.

“Yeah, baby, I am. You’ve worked super hard and it’s all gonna pay off.”

Avery smiled, knowing Debra was right. She had worked her ass off trying to complete the album. Once the tour was wrapped up, she could fully relax and  _ breathe _ . 

“Hey, I haven’t told you the best part yet,” Debra said, kissing her neck. “The tour sold out.”

Avery pulled back. “What?” She gasped. She knew sales were good but she wasn’t expecting the tour to sell out. It was a small tour and it was only about forty five days.

“The last tickets were sold this morning. It would probably be good if you posted something about it on your instagram, but for now let’s celebrate,” She gave Avery more neck kisses, making her moan. That was enough talking for now.

* * *

The doorbell rang at ten in the morning the next day. The person on the other end waited about five seconds before ringing the doorbell again. Avery rolled out of bed and stomped towards the door, passing Debra who was enjoying a cup of coffee.

“Why aren’t you getting that?” Avery asked, still walking towards the door.

“I don’t answer the door until noon,” Debra shrugged, still ignoring the doorbell.

Avery opened the door and wasn’t surprised when Lily was standing on the other side. She grinned and had all her stuff next to her.

“Chill, Lily, you look like you’re about to explode,” Avery joked but let her in and gave her a side hug.

Lily stuck her tongue out, “I am!”

They walked into the kitchen where Debra was. She wore the glasses her doctor had recently prescribed her. She hated that she needed them and mostly wore contacts. The only time she wore her glasses was in front of Avery and now Lily.

“Lily, are you trying to break my doorbell?” asked Debra, not bothering to say hello.

“Would it matter? You seem to ignore it anyway.” Lily helped herself to a cup of coffee.

“What are you doing here? We aren’t leaving until like one.” Avery began making her own coffee.

“I feel so loved,” Lily teased before taking a sip of fresh coffee.

  
  


* * *

“This tour bus smells like cigarette smoke, I’m going to die of cancer,” Debra groans.

“Debra, you smoke,” Avery points out and gives her suitcases to the bus driver. Debra chose to ignore her.

Debra, Lily, and Avery were all on one bus while the other crew and band members were on separate buses. Normally a manager would never share a bus with the singer but these were not ordinary circumstances.

Lily chose a bunk bed, “No sex in here please. I will die if I hear any moans. Keep your hands to yourself.”

Debra ignored her as well but Avery took the opportunity to slap her shoulder.

“Ow!” Lily screamed, causing Debra to glare at her.

“Don’t make me regret letting you come,” Avery joked and Lily slapped her back.

_ This is gonna be a hell of a long trip,  _ Debra thought before choosing her own bunk.


	3. San Diego

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tour begins!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used some of the map that one direction went on for their On The Road Again tour because back when I thought I was straight, I was trash for them (I STILL AM).

Debra handed Avery a key to their hotel room and handed Lily a key to her own room. Lily grinned when she took the key and Debra gave her a stern look.

“We’re leaving at seven in the morning tomorrow,” Debra said sharply, “Be on the bus by then or we’re leaving you behind.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Lily nodded and leaves leaving Avery alone with Debra. It wasn’t bad but Debra was in her agent mode which was different from when they were alone.

“You can go to the room,” Debra said softly, “I’ve gotta figure some business stuff out with some other people but it’ll only take a few minutes. I’ll meet you up there.”

Avery nodded and walked past Debra. Normally Avery would wait for a kiss from Debra before leaving but right now, Debra was her manager. If they wanted to be closer, they would have to wait until they were behind closed doors. It saddened Avery that she had to wait, but she understood that she was on tour and it wouldn’t be great if someone spotted them kissing and touching each other while on the job.

Avery scanned the key to the door and it made a quick noise before unlocking the door. She pushed it open and her mouth nearly fell open with how fancy the room looked. The TV was mounted on the wall, there was a king size bed with many pillows lined up at the head of the bed, and there was a chandelier that hung down from the middle of the ceiling. The bathroom was just as fancy. There was an enormous vanity mirror with lights and the counter was marble. The shower had glass walls on all four walls. There was even a bathtub next to it. 

She had never been in a hotel room with both a bathtub and a shower, let alone a chandelier. It was all too fancy and she felt overwhelmed by what Debra could do for her. 

* * *

Debra gave a grin to the lady who she was talking to and turned on her heels. She didn’t like that lady and was very glad to leave the conversation. 

When she made her way to the elevator, her phone began to ring. Looking back at it now, if she knew who was going to be on the other end, she never would have answered. But Debra got calls from unknown numbers all the time. It could have been something important. 

She answered the phone, “Debra Hammer.”

“Debra? This is Janice.” The voice sounded familiar, but she scowled once she realized who the voice belonged to. 

“Janice as in my dad’s friend, yes. Now remind me, are you the one who had fifty Rottweilers or the one who had fifty different plastic surgeries?” Debra asked. Instead of taking a left towards the elevator, she took a right to stay on the current floor. 

“I had two surgeries,” Janice corrected her. 

Debra sighed, “What can I do for you?”

“Honey, it’s your dad. He’s not doing well.” Janice admitted and Debra rolls her eyes. 

“I don’t give a flying shit about that man. I suggest you hang up now if that’s all you called about.”

There was silence on the other end. Debra wasn’t in contact with any of her family or family friends. It was weird that she got a call from someone who she talked to once. She didn’t like any of her dad’s friends. She knew who they were though. She had a feeling that Janice was or is a prostitute. And she wouldn’t be surprised if her dad gave Janice money for her to sleep with him. 

Janice huffed, “Listen you little snob, your dad has stage four lung cancer. Your father isn’t getting any better. I suggest you come and visit him while you can.”

Not many people knew a lot about Debra’s personal life. She grew up in Seattle, Washington. Most people would never guess that based her LA ways. Once she was eighteen, she took off from home and never looked back. She preferred being where no one could easily spot her.

Which was why she was dreading that Seattle was the next stop on the tour. If it wasn’t Seattle, she could easily use the excuse that she’s on a tour. But really she didn’t have a very good excuse. She would be able to go and see him in the hospital for a couple of hours before going to the arena. She wished Seattle was not next on their list of places.

“He’s staying at the hospital now so you can visit him anytime,” Janice continued. “I’m sure he would love to see you.”

Debra doubted that but she wanted to be done with the conversation. “I’ll be in Seattle in the next few days. I’ll see what I can do.”

If anyone knew Debra, they knew she never said goodbye on the phone. And this was no different. She hung up the phone and made her way back to the elevator. Avery was probably wondering where she was.

She used her own key to let herself in the room. Avery was on her phone, talking to someone. She was leaning backwards off the side of the bed and Debra was a little worried that she was going to slide down and hit her head.

“Yeah, Lily, I’m coming. I’ll see if Debra wants to come. Byeee,” She hung up the phone cheerfully and kicked her legs over her head into a standing position. “Wanna come with Lily and I to get pizza?”

Debra watched her get ready and shook her head, “No. I already had a bread product yesterday.”

Avery rolled her eyes so hard she was surprised they didn’t roll out of her head, “Just come with us to talk.”

“I think I might go to bed. I’m tired.” Debra sat down on the bed.

Avery frowned. This wasn’t Debra. Even if Debra didn’t want to go, she wouldn’t say she was tired. Avery knew her girlfriend well. She also knew that her girlfriend wouldn’t mention what was wrong until she was ready. It was best just to leave her be.

“Are you sure?” Avery checked while putting her jacket on.

Debra slipped off her own jacket, “I’m good. Have fun though.”

Avery pushed her worried thoughts away and walked over, sitting beside her on the bed, “I’ll have my phone on me if you need me.”

Debra sighed, “I’ll be fine, Avery. I just want to be alone.”

Avery couldn’t help but feel a little offended even though she felt the same way sometimes. She didn’t bother asking for a kiss, she didn’t want Debra to snap at her. So instead, she took it upon herself to give Debra a quick kiss on the cheek before exiting the room.

Debra sighed when the door shut. She didn’t bother changing her clothes, she just laid down and put her arms over her eyes. Her father couldn’t be dying, could he? It had been about a year since they stopped their phone calls and she hadn’t heard from him at all. How long had he been sick for? It was all too much to handle and she wished she didn’t care. On the outside, she purposely gave off the image that she didn’t care. On the inside, she still didn’t care a lot but there was a slight part of her that did care.

* * *

The waitress left after writing down their orders and Lily brought one knee up to her chest as she studied Avery.

“What’s going through that brain of yours?” She asked Avery who was sipping her cherry Coke.

“I’m nervous about Debra, something seemed off when I left.”

Lily thought for a second before responding, “Well I had to grab something from the tour bus after we got our room keys. She was on the phone with someone and she was frowning the whole time. Maybe it has something to do with that.”

Avery took a minute to think as well. She really wished Debra would talk to her but she knew Debra didn’t have the personality to just say what was on her mind. Avery had either two options. She could poke around with Debra some or she could be patient. Before she could speak, the waitress came out with their pizza and breadsticks.

* * *

  
The next day had arrived and Avery successfully completed sound check. She watched from under the stage as people began to fill the seats. She couldn’t believe all these people were coming to see her. It was all too much in some ways. She took deep breaths as she paced around the room. 

“Debra, I don’t know if I can do this. My heart is beating really fast,” She said in a panick-y voice.

“Are you actually saying that? You’re on in like five minutes,” Debra scolded. “We’ve put all this time and money in. You can’t back out now.”

Avery began to fan herself with her hands, the room was getting hot.

“Come on, Avery,” Lily said from a couch she was laying on. She was tossing a ball up in the air and catching it. “If anyone can do it, it’s you.”

Debra took Avery’s hands in her own, “Hey, you’ve got this. We went over the set list last night and what you’re going to say. Everything will be fine,” Debra paused for a minute. “As long as you don’t fuck up.”

Avery closed her eyes for a minute, “Okay, I can do this.”

Debra gave Avery a quick kiss on the forehead. “Go out there. You’ve got this.”

Lily got up off the couch and took her best friend into a hug. Avery gave her one back and walked off in the direction of the stairs towards the stage. 

“Hey, don’t fuck up!” Lily called out. 

Lily was happy when Debra let out a laugh.

Avery didn’t bother turning around to address Lily and Debra. However, she made sure to stick her hand in the air above her head, and show off her middle finger while walking towards the stage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave some kudos if you enjoyed.


	4. Santa Clara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra talks to Avery about her dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two days later

Avery’s first performance on tour couldn’t have gone better. She didn’t forget any lyrics to her songs and she didn’t trip. She would call that a successful first performance. The reactions she got from the crowd reminded her why she wanted to go on tour in the first place. Even Debra congratulated her by giving her a kiss.

As much as Avery wanted to stay in San Diego, the whole crew was on a tight schedule. The tour was about forty-five days and fourteen cities across the United States. There would be a ten day break before the last two shows and Avery was glad because she knew she would need the break.

Debra was still acting weird. Her sentences were clipped short. She wasn’t bossing people around like she usually does. She wasn’t even mentioning money, which really worried Avery. Instead, she did her job and that was it. 

“Hey,” Avery nudged Debra who was texting someone on her phone. “Wanna check out that coffee shop that we saw on the way to the hotel?”

They had a few hours before sound check and Avery expected Debra to shoot down her offer. She was happily surprised when Debra nodded and locked her phone, going to put her shoes on. They ordered an Uber to the coffee shop and were seated at a table in the next half hour.

Debra stirred her coffee with a stirrer. Avery took a bite of her muffin she ordered with her coffee. Neither of them said anything. The silence was weird to her and she didn’t like it. She decided to jump in the deep end and just ask Debra if everything was okay.

“Hey, is everything okay?” She asked, putting her muffin down. 

Debra continued to stir her coffee. “My dad has cancer.”

Avery felt her heart drop. She thought it would take longer for Debra to spill what was on her mind. Maybe Debra realized that building walls after walls weren’t helping at all. Maybe she was getting better with this communication thing.

“Debra, I’m really sorry,” Avery said.

“Me too,” She said, looking at Avery.

“What are you going to do? You should go back to Seattle and visit with him,” Avery told her. She knew Debra and her father didn’t have the best relationship on the planet, but if her father really was dying, then didn’t she want to go back and see him before it was too late?

“I don’t want to see him. He was a cruel man.” Debra took a sip of her coffee.

“But he’s your dad,” Avery said.

“Avery, my dad made me sleep outside in a tent with a single blanket after my mom died. For two weeks. Tell me again that I should see him,” Debra challenged.

“I just think you should-”

Debra put a hand up. “I’m done with this conversation, Avery.”

“Debra, just listen-” Avery continued.

She shook her head, “You’re only thinking about what you would do. Not what I should do. Stop caring so much.” Debra got up and ordered an Uber without another word.  
  


* * *

Avery set her microphone down at the end of the show. Once again, the crowd gave her a great response and she loved that. She hoped she could make the other audiences yet to come go wild as well. Maybe Debra was right when she told her that she could be the next big thing.

She spotted Debra behind the outside stage talking to a man she hadn’t met before. Before the tour, she didn’t realize how many people were involved in this tour. She couldn’t imagine how many people were involved for another band or artist that was much bigger than her. Debra had everything organized and it made Avery have a lot of respect for the woman, even if they weren’t dating. It wasn’t an easy job at all, but Debra made it look like she could do it with her eyes closed.

Debra and Avery still hadn’t exactly made up from the afternoon’s argument. Debra gave her a tight smile before she went on stage. Avery didn’t realize that she made her upset. She was just trying to give her girlfriend solid advice but it backfired. She didn’t know how she was supposed to talk to Debra without her getting pissed off at everything. Avery walks towards Debra after grabbing a bottle of water. The conversation looked tense and Avery figured she should save her girlfriend.

Debra noticed her and opened her arm up to bring Avery into a side hug. “And here’s the superstar herself!”

Early on in her career, Avery quickly learned that Debra had the words to make you feel like a queen. But she also had the words to make you feel like nothing. Debra was a manipulator. She knew what to say and how to make you feel in order to get what she wanted. Many people fell for her selfish ways when they dreamt of being a singer. The difference with Avery is she saw right through Debra. And Avery was smart enough to know how to play her right back.

“Well it wouldn’t be possible without my amazing manager,” Avery smiled and stretched her hand out to shake the man’s hand. The interaction between her and Debra seemed forced and uncomfortable.

“Oh, yes. Avery, this is David. He’s another music agent from LA and he wanted to check you out.” Oh. So he wasn’t part of the tour. Avery sensed that Debra was nervous. Avery could finish the contract between her and Debra and go to him. Debra would lose a whole lot of money if that happened.

“Thank you for taking the time to come see my show,” She said politely.

David smiled and slips Avery his card, much to Debra’s horror. “Call me if you ever need an agent.”

David walked away, leaving the women alone. Debra rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe that man did that. So unprofessional. This is a career. Not a game.”

Avery bit her tongue. Now was not the time to remind Debra that she was just as unprofessional. She wouldn’t be surprised at all if Debra had pulled the same thing before. But she kept her mouth shut because she didn’t want Debra to be anymore mad at her.

“Meet me back at the hotel,” Debra said and walked off.

* * *

Avery opened the hotel door and Debra was sitting at the provided desk in their room in the corner. It was late and Avery wanted to get to bed, but not before making up with Debra.

“You have a meet and greet in Seattle,” Debra announced, not bothering to even say hello.

“Since when?” Avery asked. “I thought we weren't doing any extras.”

“We can make more money if we add on a meet and greet. We sell fifty tickets at a hundred dollars a piece. If all sells, its five thousand more dollars,” Debra explained, not taking her eyes off her laptop.

_ For you,  _ Avery thought.

“How do we even know all the tickets are going to sell?” Avery asked, coming to look at Debra’s opened laptop.

“We don’t, but judging on how fast the tickets sold, I expect we’ll at least sell half.” Debra had a degree in business. She didn’t use it much because she became an agent in music, but it was still helpful once and awhile. There were people who ran the business side of the tour too and it was their job to keep track of the sales.

“Debra?” Avery asked in a tiny voice.

“Yes?” Debra responded, keeping her attention on her computer.

Avery took a deep breath, “I’m sorry for arguing with you.”

Debra looked up from her laptop. “It’s fine.”

It’s no secret that Debra hated talking about this stuff and Avery was nervous that she’d get snapped at or pushed away. Debra turned her focus back to her laptop.

“Debra!” Avery whined just a little.

“Yes, Avery?”

“I mean it. I shouldn’t have pushed you like that at the coffee shop. I just wanted to make sure you knew what I meant.” Avery looks down. Usually, she was confident with apologies, but even after a year of dating, Debra made her nervous. Debra shut her laptop.

“Avery, honey, it’s fine. I should learn not to shut you out like that when all you’re doing is caring. I’m sorry as well.” It wasn’t much but Avery knew that Debra meant what she said. And that’s all that mattered.

“Hug?” Avery asked hopefully and Debra responded by opening her arms. Avery walked into them and sat on her lap gently.

Debra kissed her head, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Avery fell asleep with her head on Debra’s shoulder. It was a rare moment where Debra was okay with this amount of closeness while she was working on the tour. Normally, it would have to be saved for later. Avery wasn’t about to pass the chance up. Especially when Debra wrapped her arms around Avery’s waist.


	5. Seattle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avery has a meet and greet and Debra decides to visit her dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three days later

The tour bus passed by restaurants, hotels, and stores as Debra, Avery, Lily and the rest of the crew for the tour entered Seattle. While it was nice being able to sleep in luxurious hotel rooms, she missed her own bed already. She knew she would have to get used to it though because she still had more than a month on tour.

“Oh my god!” Lily screeched out and the tour bus driver slammed on the brakes. Debra and Avery nearly fell off the bed that they were sharing. Debra was reading a magazine and Avery was lying diagonally across the bed, listening to music with her headphones in.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Debra yelled after grabbing her magazine that had fallen out of her hands. Avery took the one headphone that wasn’t yanked from her ear to see what was happening.

“There’s a Pride festival going on while we’re here! We have to go!” Lily pointed to a giant banner.

“That’s why you almost killed us all? Jesus fucking Christ,” Debra muttered and went back to reading the article she was interrupted from. The tour bus began moving again.

“Debra, that does seem fun,” Avery agreed with Lily. “Is there any way we could go?”

Debra looks up from her magazine. “Let me think. No.”  
  


Lily pouted but Avery wasn’t going to give up that easily. “Please, Debra? We’ll be back in time for soundcheck.”

“Do you realize how crowded those things are? There’s no way you’d make it back in time. Sorry, but sometimes up and coming artists have to give stuff up to focus on their career.” Debra shook her head and went back to reading.

* * *

  
“I can’t believe you vetoed our suggestion on going to Pride,” Avery frowned while they walked into their new hotel room.

Debra chucked on of her suitcases on the bed. “I don’t even see the point of those things anyways. Why be so extra about who you love?”

Avery followed her. “Because not everyone accepts people loving the same gender? I thought if anyone knew that it would be you.”

Debra pointed a finger at her. “Don’t ever say that again.”

“I’m sorry,” Avery sighed. “But if you think it’s ‘extra’, then why don’t we go? You love to be extra.”

“True,” Debra agreed.

“So can we go?” Avery asked hopefully.

“No.”

  
  


* * *

“Alright, here’s the deal.” Debra held the door open to the arena for Avery to follow her. “Give them the signed picture of you and thank them for coming. If they want to take a picture, fine, but then move on to the next. No more than a couple of minutes with each person. We’re on a schedule.” 

“I’m nervous,” Avery admitted.

Debra gave her a look of confusion. “Why?”

“Because these people came to see me,” Avery explained. “That’s a lot of pressure.”

“It doesn’t matter what happens. We got five thousand more dollars and we aren’t giving out refunds.” Debra shrugged. “Just don’t be a bitch and you’ll be fine.”

They arrived at the little room where the event would take place and the boys and girls that were lined up cheered at Avery’s presence. Most of them were teenagers or in their twenties like Avery herself, but there was one little girl with a bandana covering her bald head. Avery frowned at that, but quickly replaced it with a smile, waving at the excited fans.

Debra stood off to the side, watching closely at her interactions with the fans. If Avery were to say something wrong, it was Debra’s job to scold her. There were a couple of security guards there as well in case someone got too touchy or threatening.

Avery soon discovered that the fans were all super nice. There was a girl who was nineteen named Nina who was currently learning the electric guitar. Avery also knew how to play the electric guitar. There was a guy named Tony who was in a small band with his friends. Avery thought that was cool and also liked the thought of being in a band.

But the one who stuck out the most for her was the little girl who clearly had some form of Cancer.

“Hi honey, what’s your name?” Avery gently took the picture out of her hand to sign it.

“Lexi,” The tiny girl grinned. She couldn’t be any older than seven. Avery tried really, _ really _hard not to get upset by the girl, but she couldn’t help it. Her arms and legs looked like sticks and her cheeks were hollow, almost like she didn’t eat.

“That’s a beautiful name,” Avery said and wrote Lexi’s name at the top of the paper before signing her own. “Got any fun plans after the show?”

Lexi was still grinning. “No. My grandpa took me to your concert tonight. I chose to go to Italy for my Make-A-Wish. I go next week so I won’t be able to see him for a few weeks.”

“That was very nice of your grandpa,” Avery smiled at the man behind Lexi who gives a comforting smile back.

Debra was watching closely at the interaction. She didn’t really care that the girl suffered from cancer. She cared about how Avery was talking to the little girl. How sweet her gestures are, how soft her voice was, and how her eyes seemed sad. Her eyes narrowed.

“Next!” She called out, making Lexi jump. She grabbed the autographed picture and went to walk away.

Avery glanced at Debra and stood up, putting her hand on Lexi’s shoulder. “Stay for a minute.”

Lexi looked up at Avery with hopeful eyes. 

“I appreciate you coming to see my show. Wanna take a picture?” Avery pulled her own phone out of her pocket and opened the camera. Lexi’s grandpa took the picture and it turned out really nice with both the girls leaning in, giving each other a hug. Avery promised that she would post them on instagram later.

“Thank you for making my last year a memorable one,” Lexi grinned and Avery couldn’t help but let the tears fall this time. This girl was too mature for her age, too kind, and too sick. She was given a life full of torture that she didn’t deserve.

“If you’re ever in LA, give me a call and we’ll have lunch together, okay?” Avery winked at the child and Lexi gave her a hug before walking off. She didn’t miss the silent thank you Lexi’s grandpa said to her when Lexi wasn’t looking.

  
  


* * *

“God, I have a fucking headache,” Avery moaned and flopped on the bed in the hotel room. Debra passed her a bottle of pain medicine and Avery shook two out of the bottle before swallowing them.

“Maybe I should see my dad,” Debra admitted, crawling into bed herself.

Avery looked over at her, “What?”

“I don’t know. That one kid, what’s her name? Layla? Lucy?”

“Lexi?” Avery questioned and Debra nodded her head.

“Lexi made it seem a little scary. I wouldn't go for him, I’d go for me. But maybe I should see him one last time before he dies.”

“I’m proud of you for making that decision,” Avery told her. However, it was clear that Debra was done with the conversation because she rolled over and turned the lights off.


	6. Seattle Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra visits her dad in the hospital.

Debra didn’t care that her father had cancer. Okay, maybe she did a little. But that was it. She knew it was bad to think this, but part of her wished her dad was dead already. Then she wouldn’t have to be dealing with all the confusing emotions. She would never wish death upon anyone, but she really didn’t want to deal with the emotions that came with finding out someone was dying.

So when the nurse led her to his hospital room, she didn’t know what to think. She didn’t know how to act. She was very lucky that Avery offered to come with her for support. She needed an out in case it got too stressful.

“You know the drill right? Check your phone and say that there’s a problem with the lighting at the arena,” Debra reminded her before they entered the hospital.

“Debra, I got it. Lily and I used to do shit like this all the time,” Avery comforted her.

But now that they were actually walking towards her dad’s room, it all seemed scarier. What if Avery forgot the plan? She could do the plan herself but it would be more believable if Avery did it. Avery walked confidently beside her, like there wasn’t a worry on her mind. Maybe Avery really did know what she was doing.

“Here we are,” The nurse announced and pushed the door open.

Inside was Rob Hammer fighting with another poor nurse who was just trying to insert an IV.

“I don’t want that in me!” He fought, and held his arm to his chest. Debra didn’t bother announcing her presence yet, she just watched. If Debra didn't know that he had cancer, she wouldn’t have guessed. He still looked healthy, just on the skinnier side. His eyes still had the fire in them that they always held. He still put up a fight about stupid stuff. Debra took a look around the room. He had a suitcase full of clothes, the TV was on, and there was a tray of food sitting beside him. Rob wasn’t in a hospital gown, he was in his own clothes which was a t-shirt and sweatpants. She had yet to see Janice.

“Sir, you’re in charge of your own care. You were the one who decided to do chemo. If at anytime you don’t want to do chemotherapy, you can sign the papers,” The nurse told him. “But we really need to get started today. I have other patients.”

“Let the nurse do her job,” Debra told the man and he looked over.

He looked surprised to say the least. But the shock quickly turned into him being upset. “What are you doing here?”

“What does it look like, Dad? I’m seeing you before you’re buried six feet under.”

The nurse looked shocked hearing Debra’s words.

“Who is this?” He pointed at Avery who was casually hanging back.

“Avery Mercer,” Avery stretched her hand out so Rob could shake it, but he ignored it. 

“Who are you?” He asked again.

“That’s my girlfriend, Dad. And if you have a problem with that, we’ll gladly leave.”

He smiled and shook his head. “Stay.” However, it wasn’t a welcoming smile or invitation. It was more so he could be nosy about who Avery was.

The door opened again and in walked Janice. She smelled like cigarette smoke which angered Debra because her father was dying of lung cancer. She had a face full of makeup and her clothes were designer. Debra wanted to punch her in the face. Janice looked annoying and that never went well with Debra.

“Debra, you made it!” Janice said, but the smile on her face was obviously fake. There was so much tension in the room, Avery wanted to disappear. But she had to be strong for Debra because she didn’t know how this would turn out. Rob had finally agreed to let the nurse put the IV in him. She ignored Avery completely for the first ten minutes of their visit so Avery was surprised when Janice offered to go down to the cafeteria.

“I need to paint my nails,” She informed Avery. Avery didn’t know why she couldn’t paint her nails in Rob’s room, but the tense conversation between Debra and her Dad was enough for her to say yes.

They walked to the cafeteria in silence and Avery bought a banana so she could distract her. Janice pulled a complete nail kit out of her purse. Avery peeled the banana and took a bite.

“I thought we could give them some privacy,” Janice explained, rubbing the chipped nail polish off her nails with a cotton ball. 

“They don’t have a good relationship,” Avery pointed out, watching Janice work carefully.

“Maybe not,” Janice agreed. “But I’m a gossiper, so we can do that.”

Avery feared the answer, but asked anyways, “About what?”

“I don’t know. We could talk about The Bachelor, or how Rob had to file for bankruptcy after his wife died, or the new clothing trends…” Janice listed off, pulling different nail polishes out of her purse.

“What about Rob?” Avery asked. This was interesting news to her. Even after a year of dating Debra, she didn’t know much about the older woman’s life. She mostly pried for information and while she hated doing that, she found it was the only way to get real information out of her.

“Oh yeah! They were bankrupt for a few years. Rob was working two jobs. Debra was working when she was fourteen just to buy herself clothes and stuff she needed for school.” Janice picked up a nail polish. “I’m thinking this mauve color. What do you think about this color?”

This was definitely news to Avery. The whole time she knew Debra, she assumed she came from a wealthy family. It all made sense now to Avery as to why she loved money so much. She didn’t have money when she was a kid and now that she did, she wanted it all. Avery also had the feeling she wasn’t supposed to know this though. 

“I guess her Eleanor brought in most of the money. But then the car slammed into her and she didn’t even make it to the hospital.” 

Avery hated how casual she said those words. Like it didn’t matter that Eleanor was a mother.

“So how does he have money now? He clearly has more money than he needs now.” Avery finished her banana. 

“He won some lottery game. I forget which one, but it helped tremendously. He got a better job, quit both his old ones and never talked about it again.” Janice painted her nails more. Avery thought it was an ugly color.

“So, how do you fit into this whole thing?” Avery asked.

“I was a stripper and I started doing prostitution work on the side. I needed money for food and stuff and Rob contacted me.”

Avery had never met someone who was so open about being a prostitute. However, it seemed like a job that Janice would do. She smiled like she understood.

  
  


* * *

“So why is your...friend here? I never said you guys could come,” Rob said and leaned back in the hospital bed to get comfy.

“Because I wanted to see you and she came for moral support,” Debra said and sat in the chair next to him.

“I don’t need to be reminded of all the mistakes my daughter has made,” Rob said sternly.

“What about the mistakes you’ve made, Dad?” Debra shot back. 

“This isn’t about me.” Rob shook his head and didn’t bother to say another word.

Debra had enough of this conversation. She didn’t even want to be at the hospital anymore. Who was she to think that her father had changed? Of course he hadn’t. If anything, he was meaner now that he was sick.

“I’m going to the restroom,” She said and walked out of the room.

“There’s a bathroom in here!” Rob shouted and Debra walked back in.

“I’m going to one where I don’t have to be around you!”

Debra made sure to send a text message to Avery that they needed to put their plan into action.

* * *

Avery was painting her nails black when her phone buzzed.

_ Come back and let me know there’s a problem with the lights.  _ It was obviously from Debra.

She tapped carefully at her phone.  _ Can you wait five minutes? I’m painting my nails. _

It wasn’t even a minute before her phone buzzed again.  _ Avery, now. I don’t want to be here a second longer than I have to.” _

“Oh, shit. There’s a lighting issue at the arena. Fuck, I hope I can perform. I better go get Debra so we can leave and figure this out.” Avery stood up and pushed her chair in.

“Okay, but listen. I don’t think you’re supposed to know about the money thing. I’m a bit of a snooper,” Janice stage whispered the last part.

Avery gave her a smile.

* * *

Debra was sitting in Rob’s room but there was no conversation going on. They were both mad at each other and if Avery wasn’t here with her, she most definitely would have left already. Her arms were crossed as she stared out the hospital window.

The door suddenly crashed open and Avery burst in the room. “Debra, there’s a problem with the lighting back at the arena. We need to go. I guess you also got a text.” 

Avery held up her phone and Debra pulled out her own. Of course, there was no text message about lights not working, but Debra was so happy for the excuse that she jumped up from the chair so fast, she nearly got dizzy.

They quickly said goodbye to the two other people in the room and they rushed out. As soon as they got in the Uber Debra ordered, the older lady kissed Avery hungrily.

“Thank you for coming and saving my ass today,” Debra said in between kisses.

“Anytime, babe. Now kiss me more.”


	7. Vancouver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily goes to the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two days later

_ Two days later _

Lily sat at the bar and slightly raised her hand to catch the bartender's attention. It was loud and crowded and Lily was hoping to get served soon. She wasn’t in a rush, but she wasn’t planning on spending the night at the bar either. Just a drink or two.

The bartender walked over to her and leaned on the counter, paying attention to her. “What can I get for you?”

“That was quick, I was expecting it to take longer,” Lily commented. “I’ll have a Long Island Iced Tea.”

“Pretty girls get served first,” The waitress winks. Lily checks the name tag on her uniform.  _ Amanda.  _ But before Lily can say anything else, Amanda bustles away, creating Lily’s drink. Amanda had square glasses that looked like nerd glasses and her burgundy hair was tied back in a ponytail. She was a few inches taller than Lily. Lily was immediately curious about Amanda and hoped they could talk when she served her drink. 

Was this night really going to end in a hookup? Lily wanted to get out and have fun while they were in Canada. Lily wasn’t one for hookups but Amanda was cute, so if the opportunity came up, she would take it.

The drink is set in front of her and she takes a sip. Amanda watches her.

“So, what are you doing in Canada?” Amanda asks and Lily looks surprised.

“How do you know I’m not from Canada?” Lily smirks.

“You sound just like you’re from Los Angeles,” Amanda informs her.

Lily takes another sip of her drink. “My best friend is a music artist and she’s on tour. I’m tagging along.”

“So why aren’t you at her show?” Amanda asks.

Lily smirks. “Why aren’t you? She’s a hot new artist who everyone loves.”

“I’m at work.”

Lily laughs and nods her head. “Lily Abbott.” She sticks her hand out.

“Amanda Willford.” Amanda shakes her head.

“I know, your name tag gave it away.”

Amanda chuckles.

“Hey, stop flirting and get back to work!” A guy from behind the bar yells and Amanda nods, taking another woman’s drink order. Lily thought Amanda was the prettiest person she had ever seen. She knew Amanda wasn’t fully straight because the first thing Amanda did was flirt with her. Lily was so intrigued by this girl and wanted to know everything about her. 

Lily identified as bisexual but recently she had her doubts. She seemed to look at boys less. She knew Avery would be fine with it. Debra didn’t even know she was into girls, but she knew wouldn’t care considering she was dating Avery. Her mom wouldn’t care but she also didn’t know when she could tell her. Her mom worked more often than not and always seemed to forget she had a daughter.

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” Amanda asked her.

“You should come back to my hotel room,” Lily states.

Amanda sets down another drink in front of her. “I could be an axe murderer.”

“You’re not,” Lily shrugged.

“She is!” The same guy from before laughed.

“Shut the fuck up, Todd,” Amanda hit her coworker on the arm. “You’re right, I’m not.”

Lily smirked, happy that she was right and it made Amanda laugh. “I’m off in an hour. If you wanna wait an hour then I would be more than happy to come back with you.”

Lily nodded and gave a genuine smile.

* * *

“This is my hotel room,” declared Lily. She was proud of the fancy room and part of the reason why she invited Amanda back was to show it off.

“This is fancier than any hotel room I’ve been in.” Amanda looked impressed. Lily was happy to hear that response and kicked off her shoes, sitting on the bed. Amanda had taken her hair out of the ponytail and had a jacket over her uniform.

“Thanks, luckily I’m not paying for it. My bank account would scream.” 

Amanda chuckled and sat down on the bed next to Lily. “You’re really pretty.”

Lily wasn’t thinking when she leaned forward and kissed Amanda on the lips. Amanda eagerly kissed back. Lily began to run her hands through Amanda’s hair. Amanda wrapped her arms around Lily’s waist. Together as they kissed, they removed Amanda’s jacket. It was getting heated fast and Lily didn’t even know how much longer she would have clothes on for. Lily’s hand found one of Amanda’s boobs and cupped it gently, beginning to massage it. Amanda moaned at the touch.

The door crashed open, hitting the wall and they broke apart quickly.

“Lily, tonight’s show was amazing! Someone-” Avery stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Lily wasn’t alone. She looked surprised. “Who is this? I didn’t think you’d even be here but I decided to try.”

“No one, now leave before-”

“You didn't tell me your friend was Avery Mercer!” Amanda said loudly. She was a little embarrassed that Avery walked in on them making out but she was mostly excited that she got to meet Avery. She was a huge fan of Avery’s music.

“Oh yeahhh,” Lily said. She wanted to get back to what they were doing before.

“Nice to meet you…” Avery said, hoping Amanda would tell her her name.

“Amanda.”

“Nice to meet you Amanda. I have a ticket you can have for my show tomorrow night if you want it. For free of course.” Avery said and sat on the bed next to the pair, making Lily groan.

“I couldn’t possibly do that! I can pay you,” Amanda said, grab her bag that was behind her.

“Don’t be silly. You’re a friend of Lily’s so you’re a friend of mine. Just don’t tell my manager and we’ll be good,” Avery chuckled and winked at Amanda in a non flirtatious way.

“Avery! That’s great but could you please leave us alone now?” Lily practically begged.

“What should I wear tomorrow, by the way? I want something a little more dressed down. I meant to ask earlier.” Avery was getting the hint that Lily wanted to have sex with Amanda but she couldn’t help but tease a little.

Lily got up off the bed and grabbed Avery’s wrist, pulling her out the door. “Go naked for all I care. Byeee!”

Lily heard Avery’s laughter from the other side of the door but she wasn’t paying attention. She really wanted to get back to what she was doing before they were interrupted.

“I’m sorry about that,” Lily smiled softly and Amanda grinned.

“It’s cool,” She said honestly and wrapped her arms around Lily’s waist, bringing her into a kiss again. They immediately picked up where they left off. Lily went back to touching Amanda’s boobs again and Amanda’s hand traveled downwards towards the inside of Lily’s jeans. Amanda gently pushed Lily onto her back while continuing to kiss her. Amanda took over, becoming the dominant one and began massaging Lily’s boobs. Lily moaned and went to take off her shirt, not breaking the kiss.

The door whipped open and Debra walked in. They weren’t quick enough to get rid of the evidence this time because Lily’s shirt was half way off but Debra didn’t seem to care or just didn’t mention it.

“Oh my god!” Lily yelled in frustration.

“Lily, where’s Avery? I need her for something.” Debra walked in the room.

“I don’t know, last I knew she was giving away free tickets.” Lily didn’t mean to say that but she wasn’t thinking properly. Couldn’t she just have an hour alone with Amanda? The poor girl was probably upset about the situation too.

“What the hell? Lily, she can’t be giving away free tickets! What the hell is wrong with her?”

“Uh, you shouldn’t say that about your girlfriend. Why don’t you go ask her yourself? I’m busy!” Lily was growing more frustrated by the second and Amanda looked super uncomfortable. Debra began pacing the room.

“Lily, do you realize how much money we lose when we give out free tickets?” Debra rambled on. Lily didn’t care but she wasn’t going to say that.

“Lots of money, I bet. More than I’ll ever have in my bank account,” Lily said sarcastically.

“Exactly! So why is she giving people free tickets?” Debra demanded.

“Again, the correct person you should be talking to is Avery,” Lily said and Debra stopped pacing.

“You’re right,” Debra agreed and walked towards the door. “By the way, I didn’t know you swung for that team. I like your girlfriend though. She’s quiet.”

Both girls blushed as Debra exited the room. 

“Good try,” Amanda said.

Lily nodded, “Good try.”


	8. Edmonton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra sees her dad one last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three days later

Canada was great. Avery remembered going there when she was a child with her parents, but now that she was performing there, it made it so much better. Lily and her went to a bunch of different tourist sights. Debra came along on a few, but was mostly at the arenas, getting ready for the shows. Lily was also ecstatic that Amanda took some time off of work to go with them and be their unofficial tour guide. Lily was glad that Avery and Debra didn’t scare Amanda away.

Debra was a very hard worker and everyone knew that. She didn’t stop until the job was done and that could be dangerous at times. The tour had been making her exhausted and she wasn’t in the best mood because of that. She wanted this to be the best tour possible for Avery. Avery was grateful she was even going on tour but Debra wanted to give her more.

It was eight in the morning and both women were dead to the world in the hotel room. Avery was curled up in a ball, which she enjoyed. Debra had taken up most of the room, her limbs spread out everywhere.

Debra’s phone began to ring, snapping her out of her sleep. She grabbed the phone lazily, checking to see who was calling. She was still half asleep and when she saw Janice calling her, she declined the call and turned over to go back to bed.

But the ringing started back up after that and when it rang for the third time she rolled over and yanked the phone from the charger. She put it up to her ear. She could not deal with people today.

“Jesus fucking goddamn christ, what?!” She shouted into her phone. Avery stirred a little but didn't wake up.

A sigh comes from the other end. “I have news about your dad, do you want it or not?”

“Umm, no.”

Janice talks anyway. “Your dad isn’t getting treatment anymore. He has about a month left to live so they moved him into a facility where they’ll keep him comfortable until he dies.”

“Why are you telling me this? I’m getting two hours of sleep at night, I only eat when I can, and I really don't care about my dad.”

“You should. I think he would be hurt if he didn’t see you one last time. And you’re too stuck up in your ways to do anything.” 

And with that, Debra hung up the phone and rolled over.

  
  


* * *

“So who was on the phone earlier?” Avery asked when she came out of the dressing room. She was in a black crop top and leggings and Debra thought she looked hot.

“No one.”

“Was it Janice?” Avery asked, taking her electric guitar, strumming on it.

Debra nodded, “It was.”

Avery continued playing, “What did she want?”

Avery figured out what the phone call was about when she listened to Debra’s half but Debra always needed to be coaxed to share her feelings and so Avery pretended not to know what had happened to make her feel better. 

“I guess my dad is dying. I don’t know,” Debra threw her hands up in frustration. 

Avery set the guitar down and took Debra by the shoulders. “Go see your dad. I’ll be fine for a few days by myself.”

“That is not a good idea. Nothing good will come out of that.” 

“But will you regret it if you don’t?” Avery used a soft voice. Even if Debra was using a harsh tone with her, it would do no good to yell back. 

“If you want me to go, I’ll go.” Debra released herself from Avery’s grip. 

“You need to decide for you. Not for me,” Avery told her. 

“I don’t know why we’re still having this conversation,” Debra said, grabbing some of her stuff. “I’ll go.”

  
  


* * *

“You’re back.” Rob had an amused grin on his face. 

Debra looked at him carefully. She didn’t recognize him. He was different in every single way. He was skinnier, paler, he didn’t have much hair, and his vibe was meaner. She didn’t like this one bit. Rob was dying in front of her. Debra refused to sit down, ready to leave at a moment’s notice if necessary. 

“At least you didn’t bring that girl along with you,” Rob continued. 

“Why must you mention that? You should be happy to see me,” Debra commented. 

“Why must you make my life hell?” Rob shot back.

“You act like you’re so perfect when you’re not. Who was the one paying for my clothes when I was sixteen? Who was traveling to school every day by themselves? Who was the one working until she was forced to quit because of child labor laws? The answer is me.” Debra’s voice was getting louder already and she knew she had to lower it. 

She was angry at everything. She hadn’t been there five minutes and they were already fighting. She knew she should had stayed with Avery in Canada. She knew at the bottom of her heart that Rob would never approve of her. She should’ve stopped trying to make it different. 

“You don’t care about your family.” Debra’s voice broke on the word family. 

Debra didn’t know how Rob’s face could get anymore colder, but it did.

“Watch where you’re going with that,” Rob warned. 

“You cheated on mom before she even died and you left me outside in the winter,” Debra laughed but it had no humor. 

“You don’t know half of what went on,” Rob said. 

“The only thing I know is that mom finally has relief not having to be with you anymore,” Debra said coldly. She walked towards the door, tugging it open. 

“I’ve changed my will. Don’t expect much when I die,” Rob told her. 

Debra looked at him right in the eyes. “I don’t need your money. I have more than you’ve ever had put together.” And with that, she walked out. 

Two nurses were at the front desk enjoying a pizza for lunch and laughing at a joke. When Debra marched up to the desk, it got silent really fast. 

“Debra Hammer. If I’m on Rob Hammer’s emergency contact list, take me off. I don’t want to hear from this place again.” She didn’t wait for a response and stormed out the front door without a second thought. 


	9. Winnipeg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avery and Lily talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three days later

_ Avery didn’t know what to expect when Debra got off the plane. She hadn’t been answering Avery’s calls or texts at all and the only reason Avery even knew that she was alive was because Debra had CC’d her on a few emails while she was away regarding the tour. Whatever happened in Seattle wasn’t good. _

_ Avery waited nervously by baggage claim, trying to spot her girlfriend. She didn't need to look hard because Debra was the first one off the plane. She looked mad and even though she had put a blazer on with nice pants, she hadn’t bothered to put her contacts in or do her hair. She wore her glasses instead and her hair was on top of her head instead of the back. _

_ “How was it?” Avery asked once Debra was in earshot. _

_ “I told you I didn't want to go.” Debra walked right past her, not even looking at her. _

_ “It’s not my fault you went. I only suggested you go,” Avery frowned. “I specifically said don’t make the decision for me, make it for yourself.” _

_ Debra ignored her and continued walking towards the bags coming out, looking for her own. _

  
  


* * *

Avery bit her lip, deep in thought. Her leg was shaking and she wasn’t focusing on anything that was happening. Debra had continued to be in a mood, taking it out on Avery. She knew exactly why and she tried to be calm about it because her dad was dying, but it had hurt when Debra snapped at her for no reason.

Lily and her were laying on Lily’s hotel bed and Lily was in the middle of telling her something funny that Amanda told her. But even if she laughed, her heart wouldn’t be in it. She was scared that Debra would no longer want anything to do with her after the tour ended. She knows she didn't do anything wrong, but Debra had a habit of going to extreme measures when she was mad. She knew Debra would never cancel the tour though so if she was broken up with, she would have to power through it.

“I think Amanda and I are going to try dating,” Lily revealed and Avery looked at her.

“What?” Her attention was now on Lily. Her eyebrows were furrowed and she looked concerned.

“Yeah, we both like each other and we’ve talked about it,” Lily told her. Lily looked excited and Avery didn’t want to ruin that but she had concerns.

“Does she know about your past with dating?” Avery asked.

Avery remembers the times when Lily would show up at her house at two in the morning with bruises across her face and stomach. Lily learned a lot about makeup during that time. Avery was still very worried about Lily’s emotional state when it came to dating.

“No,” Lily stated. “I don’t want her to know that yet.”

“How are you guys going to work this out though? You live in LA and she lives in Canada…” Avery looked like she was thinking a lot.

“We’ll work it out. We aren’t even dating yet. Please just be happy for me,” Lily pleaded. “I thought you liked Amanda?”

“I do like her,” Avery responded. “I’m just worried about you.”

“There’s no reason to be.”

Avery thought there was a reason to be worried but she didn’t want Lily to also be upset with her so she smiled and nodded. They fell into a comfortable silence as they both thought about separate things.

“I think I’m gay,” Lily announced, just above a whisper.

“I’m not surprised. Have you ever checked a guy out?” Avery asked.

“Yes...no.” Lily tried to remember back to a time when she was attracted to a guy. “I don’t know, maybe I was just trying to think that I still like guys.”

“Maybe,” Avery agrees. “Love you though.”

“Love you.”

Avery poked Lily’s cheek with her finger and Lily turned her head and bites it.

Avery snatched her finger back. “Hey, I don’t think Debra would be too happy if you broke my finger and we had to make a hospital trip on tour. At least she’d give me attention then.”

“We should go out for pizza and you should invite Debra. I don’t think she’s done anything in Winnipeg,” Lily suggested and it’s not a bad idea. Avery would love to hang out with Debra and Lily.

She smiled and agreed and hoped Debra would agree on getting pizza.

  
  


* * *

Luckily Debra did agree and they all chose a tiny local pizzeria down the street from their hotel.

Avery really tried to be nice when Debra commented things that weren’t the nicest. It made things awkward with Lily there and even Lily didn't want to speak up, afraid she’d get yelled at. Avery wondered why Debra even bothered to come along. The pizza came and Debra ate a couple pieces while Lily practically stuffed her face. Avery only had one slice which caught Lily’s attention.

“Hey, are you okay? Usually you eat more,” Lily frowned.

Avery shrugged, “I’m just not hungry. I had a snack earlier.”

“I hope you aren’t starving yourself,” muttered Debra.

Avery’s head snapped up, glaring at Debra.

“What the fuck, Debra? How dare you mention that when I’m trying to move past that? How is that supposed to help me? But that’s the problem with people who are recovering from eating disorders, right? Once you have one, everyone assumes you’re starving yourself when you’re just not hungry. I’m surprised you’ve even noticed considering all you’ve done is treat me like shit the last few days.” Avery took a drink of her Coke and slammed the cup down harder than necessary. “I’m done here.”

Avery got up and walked away from the table, leaving the other two women in shock. If anyone knew the trio, it would be assumed that Debra would crack first. Then Lily. But no one would guess Avery. So no one knew what to do when she walked out of the restaurant without a second glance.


	10. Minneapolis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra apologizes to Avery for her recent behavior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two days later

Debra truly felt bad about what she had said at the restaurant. There had been moments where recovery was hard for Avery. Avery usually went to Lily at those times, because Lily was in recovery on and off for eight years. But occasionally, she would seek help from Debra who would assure her that everything was okay. She knew that saying something like that could cause triggers.

Avery went back to the hotel that night and locked herself in the bathroom until Debra had fallen asleep. Debra was very worried and listened closely while she was working for the sound of vomiting or the sound of the shower to cover the sound of vomiting up. She eventually fell asleep and Avery came out, sadly falling asleep next to Debra.

The next day, they talked about what happened. Debra apologized sincerely about the comment at the restaurant and Avery apologized for blowing up at the restaurant. Debra said it was okay and she would have done the same thing. Avery knew that was most likely true but still felt bad about it. They were on good terms, but both Avery and Debra thought they could be on great terms.

Now they were in Minneapolis. Debra had gone shopping a lot and Avery and Lily had gone to the zoo. Avery and Lily were both huge animal lovers. They had invited Debra to go with, but she declined saying that she wanted to stay in. Debra was  _ not _ an animal lover.

Avery woke up to the sound of Debra’s alarm going off. It was set to the most peaceful of tones and Avery didn’t know how Debra managed to get up every day with that. Avery herself had a blaring alarm that jolted her awake every morning, making her mad. It was the only way she could wake up.

“Where are you goin’?” Avery muttered. They didn’t have anywhere they needed to be today. It was rare for that to happen.

“Go back to bed, honey. I’ll be back later.” Debra gave her a kiss on the head and pulled her shoes on before walking out.

Avery didn't think much of it. Debra was pretty much always on the go. Whether it was work or shopping, she had something planned. Avery fell back asleep quickly, taking advantage of the day off to get some much needed rest.

After what seems like only seconds, she felt Debra sit on the bed.

“Hey, wake up.” Debra poked her softly.

Avery opened her eyes and took a moment before sitting up, running a hand through her hair and yawning before taking in the scene in front of her. Debra was sitting on the edge of the bed with flowers in her hand.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” She confessed. Her face scrunched up for a second, like she’s uncomfortable, but Avery saw that she was working out the words in her head. It was scary for Debra to admit her feelings.

“I’ve been awful to you, Avery. Everyone can see it. I run from my problems and I block everyone out. You’ve been so kind to me even when I do just that to you. I’ve said hurtful things and I’ve just been plain mean to you. In a lot of ways, I feel like I’m unworthy of your love. You deserve someone who is just as perfect as you are.” Debra picked a leaf off the stem of a rose and lets it float the ground. Avery decided not to tell her that she shouldn’t mess with someone’s gift. Debra takes a deep breath, “I want to try and make it right though. Even if you don’t want me, I want you to know that I still want you. These are for you.”

Debra held out the flowers and Avery took them. The flowers were roses and Avery smiled, happy that Debra remembered that they were her favorite. She loved the deep red color. Avery set them on the bed beside her, grinning softly.

“I don’t want to date someone who is perfect though. I just want to date someone who loves me and I know that’s you.”

They closed the space between them, kissing passionately. They touched each other in places that weren’t exactly PG and Avery wanted to go further but Debra had other plans.

“Let’s go out. We deserve a day out, don’t you think?” She asks and Avery grins.

“We do.”

  
  


* * *

Debra took Avery to the Mall of America and they spend a lot of money, going into stores and trying things on. They were both glad they could just spend time together. No drama, no work, just enjoying each other’s company. Avery loved when Debra was carefree. It’s wasn’t something that happened often at all, but when it did, Avery put it in her mind and never forgot. Debra could say the same thing about Avery though. Maybe it was something in the way that Avery’s face lit up when Debra said something sweet to her. Or maybe it was just how kind Avery was back. She didn’t know what she did to deserve Avery but she wanted it all to last forever. And to Debra, that’s a scary thing.

After lunch, they stopped by an ice cream parlor that made homemade ice cream. They sat in a booth, sharing a banana split that mostly Avery ate. They made casual conversation, making sure not to bring anything up that was too heavy.

“You should eat more. You don’t get this good of ice cream every day.” Avery shoved some more into her mouth.

Debra shook her head. “I can’t, I’ll go over my calories for the day.”

Normally someone who was in recovery for an eating disorder could find someone counting their calories to be triggering. But Avery found it funny more than anything. 

She laughed, “Debra, just have a bite or two. It won’t hurt. You’re gonna miss out.”

Avery teased Debra by putting a spoon full of ice cream to her lips. “Here comes the airplane.”

Debra playfully glared at her and took the bite of ice cream.

Just as Debra did so, a little boy zoomed past them. The boy’s face had chocolate all over it and his mom, who was pregnant and looked to be about Avery’s age, ran behind him trying to catch him.

“Zach! What did I tell you about running off, huh?” She scolded and grabbed his arm with one hand while the other was holding another ice cream cone. “No more ice cream for you!” 

Avery laughed at the scene while Debra just stared.

“What do you think about kids?” Avery asked, once the woman dragged her son away. “Do you want them?”

Debra sighed heavily, “I’m not sure I’m cut out to be a mom.”

“What makes you say that?” Avery asked.

Debra gave her an ‘are you serious’ look. 

Avery laughed, “You could be a mom.”

“What about you, do you want to be a mom?” Debra took another bite of ice cream. Avery was right, it was too good to pass up.

Avery didn't even think about her answer. “Yes.”

“Maybe I could be convinced,” Debra sighed. Zach runs by them again, his face even messier. “It would take a lot of convincing.”

  
  
  


* * *

They walked hand in hand on the sidewalk outside their hotel. The sunset was perfect to Avery and she took a couple of pictures before putting her phone in her pocket.

“You know you didn’t have to do this for me, right? I love you.” They sat down on the edge of the sidewalk and Avery leaned her head on Debra’s shoulder.

“I wanted to though. You deserved a day out. And I love you too. I don’t spend my money on just anyone. You know that.” Debra wrapped an arm around Avery

Avery laughed and watched as Debra took her own phone out of her pocket. She read what was on the screen quickly and shoved it away. Seeing Debra’s frown, she thought of a way to change to a grin.

“Hey, why don’t we go upstairs and have sex?” She pulled a sneaky move and lightly brushed her hand across one of Debra’s boobs.

“And to the room we go!” Debra announced and they race back to the room.

  
  


* * *

Their breaths were heavy as they both came down from their climaxes, holding each other tightly. Some of the time, they did it for pure pleasure but Avery was happy that this time it was out of love. Avery loved Debra so much and it hurt to think about sometimes and Debra loved her just as much back.

Debra held Avery in her arms as she kissed her forehead softly, a gesture that Debra liked to do and Avery thought it was the sweetest thing ever. She lived for moments like this. Debra held her for the rest of the night, making Avery feel like the luckiest person in the world.

Debra also never missed the incoming text messages on her phone from Janice. 


	11. Seattle Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra goes back to Seattle one last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day later

“Tell me if I’m wrong, but I thought I told you not to call me anymore.” Debra had her phone up to her ear and her jaw was clenched.

Janice sighed from the other end. “So would you like me to not tell you that you probably have two days left with your dad before you never see him again? His health is declining fast and he’s most likely not going to be here by the end of the week.”

“Yes, please don’t call me again.”

“You gotta grow up. I can’t be the go to person,” Janice said and it took Debra everything in her not to yell at this woman who claimed to care.   
  


“Nobody asked you to, Janice. You’re doing this so you look like a hero.” Debra hangs the phone up before Janice can reply.

Avery and Lily burst into the hotel room, laughing like maniacs. Debra slides her phone into her pocket and gives them their attention.

“We just pranked one of the sound guys,” Lily informs her and they laugh even harder. “We put a bucket of water in his hotel bathroom above the door.”

“How did you even get into his...nevermind. I don’t want to know.”

The girls giggled again and Debra knew now was not the time to mention anything serious. They were in too good of a mood.

  
  
  


* * *

Avery was on the verge of falling asleep when Debra got her attention. They were on the tour bus on the way to Kansas City. Avery was a little annoyed that Debra had woken her up. It was past midnight and the roads were rocky, so any sleep that Avery got, she considered lucky. However, she also knew Debra wouldn’t just wake her to wake her. There was a reason.

Avery leaned over the top bunk she was on to look at Debra who was underneath her.

“What’s up?” She could hear Lily snoring from her own bed. They kept their voices at a whisper volume, not wanting to wake Lily.

“Janice called me again. Can you believe that?” Debra had a little reading light hooked onto another magazine that she was reading. Debra never slept well on tour buses and Avery didn’t blame her. She was very lucky that Debra came on the tour bus, just for the soul purpose of being with Avery.

Avery actually could believe that Janice would call again, the woman had no boundaries, but she kept quiet. “What did she say?”

Debra put her magazine down. “I don’t know.”

That was bullshit according to Avery because she knew for a fact that if Debra didn't know, she wouldn't have woken her up. 

“What did she say?” She pried softly.

“I guess this is it. After this week, he’ll be rotting in his grave.”

Avery jumped down from the bunk bed, not very gracefully. She kneeled in front of Debra’s bed and rubbed Debra’s knee. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I just want to go to bed. Really, I’m okay. I just wanted to let you know.” Debra set her magazine aside.

It may seem silly, but Avery practically jumped for joy when Debra said that. Debra was actually following through and trying to make things work between them. 

Avery grinned, “As long as you’re sure.”

“I am, I promise.”

They said their goodnights and shared a kiss before Avery went back up to her own bunk. 

  
  
  


* * *

“Are you sure she’s okay?” Lily asked, concerned. Her and Debra didn't always get along, but Lily had some mad respect for Debra and what she did.

“I don’t know,” Avery sighed. “I’m keeping an eye on her.”

“Good.” Lily nodded her approval and walked off, probably to see what food they had at the arena. They would spend most of the day at the arena, setting up for tomorrow’s show. It all happened so fast in each city to Avery and she could barely keep up. After tomorrow’s show, it would be torn down. 

She looked for Debra and found her sitting on a couch. She had a pen in one hand while her planner was sitting on her lap. But she wasn’t looking at the planner that was open to the next day’s date. The pen was uncapped and ready to write with, but she stared at the wall in front of her.

Avery plopped herself on the couch, sitting next to her. Debra broke from her trance, startled and looked at Avery, almost like she didn’t realize Avery had come to the arena with her that morning.

“What’s wrong? You just totally spaced it,” Avery asked, worried.

“I’m just distracted by other things that need to get done by tomorrow.” Debra gave a weak smile to Avery. Avery didn’t believe that for a second, but she didn’t want to accidentally put her in a bad mood, so she wasn’t going to push too hard.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Nothing to do with your dad? If you need to go, it’s okay.” Avery told her softly.

Debra shook her head, “Nope.”

  
  
  


* * *

“We should just go to Subway for lunch. You can’t go wrong with sammies,” Avery suggested and Lily shook her head.

“No way. We should get pizza!” Lily said loudly.

They turned the corner and Debra was sitting on another couch. She was spacing out again, this time with her laptop out and considering that Lily had just screamed and she hadn’t reacted, really worried Avery.

“Go check up on her.” Lily nudged Avery. Avery agreed.

Avery sat on the couch next to her. Debra was biting her lip and her hands were visibly shaking.

Avery sighed, “Debra…”

Debra stood up from the couch. “I’m going, I’m going. Are you coming with or not?”

  
  


* * *

Rob’s death wasn’t like in the movies or on TV shows. It just... _ happened.  _ They had gotten there right on time. Janice was bawling her eyes out and Debra really wanted to snap at her. No words were exchanged between the three women.

Rob was unconscious and looked more sickly than ever. Debra thought he looked like a twig. He was hooked to one machine only and Debra guessed the machine was giving him medicine to keep him comfortable. Not that she cared.The machine was beeping way less than Avery would have liked and she stayed behind Debra, not wanting to get in the way. But if Debra needed her, she would be there in a heartbeat. His breathing was shallow and Debra could barely see his chest moving up and down.

And Rob flatlined. It was so expected, it was unexpected. They  _ knew  _ it would happen that day but when the machine made the horrifying noise that announced his death, they all reacted in different ways. Janice sobbed harder. Avery stood still, not what sure was going to happen. Debra nodded once, like she hadn’t just seen her dad die in front of her. 

“Well there’s that,” She commented and walked out the door. 


	12. Kansas City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra's emotions catch up with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day later

Even though there had been a death, the show had to go on. At least according to Debra. No shows were cancelled and no shows were rescheduled. They flew back to Minneapolis the same night and drove to Kansas City the next morning. Now here they were struggling to get the stage set up for the show that started in four hours. Fans were already lined up outside the arena.

Avery didn’t know how Debra would react after her dad passed away. But she should have guessed mean. Debra was just mean to her, Lily, and everyone else on tour. She snapped at Avery that morning for being too slow in the shower, she snapped at Lily for goofing around, and she snapped at a guy helping with the speakers. Everyone, including Avery and Lily had a silent agreement with each other to just not get in Debra’s way.

Avery was currently texting her mom about how the tour was going. Her mom and dad were still in Germany taking care of her grandma who was sick. They didn’t know when they would be back, but they were proud of their daughter for all her accomplishments.

“Avery, what the hell are you doing?” Debra stormed in, making Avery nearly jump out of her skin. She was wearing her glasses. Avery guessed her head must have been hurting. She never liked to wear her contacts during a headache. “You know how much money went into this tour? Get your ass on the stage for sound check! I didn’t let this tour happen so you can dick around the whole time!” She pointed towards the stage and followed her to it.

Avery hopped on the stage, grabbing a microphone from a member of her band. Lily was sitting in the audience along with a few other roadies, taking a break from helping set up the stage.

Debra put her hand up when she realizes something was wrong. “Hold it!” 

She climbs onto the stage as well, giving the band members an almost uncomfortable amount of attention. “Where’s Tim?”

“Oh yeah, he’s not here!” Lily shouted from the audience.

Debra laughed without humor. “So one of the band members is missing, just hours before a show?”

The drummer, Nick, spoke up. “I don’t know where he’s at. I haven't heard from him all day.”

“Does he or does he not understand the commitment of going on tour?” Debra paced back and forth slowly, like she was trying to process the information.

“Nick knows bass, he can cover for Tim,” Avery suggested. 

“But then who will cover for Nick?” Debra turned to Avery. “Think before you say stupid stuff.”

Avery looked offended for a second before standing her ground, “Maybe  _ you _ should keep better track of who needs to be here.”

Debra stepped closer to Avery than Avery would have liked. The glare in Debra’s eyes told Avery that whatever she was about to say wouldn’t be good. 

Except nobody got to hear what Debra was going to say because a giant speaker right by the edge of the stage tilted, tipping off the stage. The impact made a dent in the machine and filled the arena with an ugly static noise. Everyone plugged their ears and Nick went over to the machine, unplugging it. It was obvious the machine was broken. Jeff, a roadie, looked guilty.

“I just bumped it when I was grabbing water. I’m sorry,” He said. “I’ll go and buy a new one.”

Debra looked at Nick. “Did he just say that? Did he really just say that?” She looks at Jeff. “You’re gonna go grab a machine that’s two hours away? The show starts in three and a half hours. It would be impossible to make it back in time.”

The tension on stage was high. Avery bit her nails, trying to think of a solution, Debra had an angry look on her face, and Lily didn’t dare move from her spot in the audience.

“I have a friend who lives by a warehouse who carries that specific speaker. I could meet him halfway. If he goes now, we could have it back here in two hours,” Nick suggested. It was a good plan, but there was no guarantee that it would work. What if Nick’s friend wasn’t home? What if they didn’t have any at the warehouse? They weren’t in the clear yet and Debra didn’t even know if the show was even going to happen now. 

They had a missing band member  _ and  _ a broken speaker. If anything else went wrong, she would lose it.

“Well then call him.” Avery noticed that Debra spoke to Nick like a three year old. Nick whipped his phone out and quickly pressed a few buttons before putting it to his ear.

Debra felt her headache worsening. She rested her head in her hand for a minute. The last couple days had been hell and she was ready to break. She didn’t know how much more she could take.

“Okay, he’s picking it up now. I’m gonna go pick it back up and I’ll be back in a couple hours. We’ll set it up and it’ll be ready just in time for the show.” Nick said and Debra looked at him.

“Go,” she said, but there was no harshness behind the word.

* * *

They were very lucky that the warehouse did in fact have the speaker there. Nick and his friend quickly met up and got the speaker before returning to the arena. They hooked up the speaker and did a quick check, seeing that the speaker worked fine. Tim was still missing which stressed Debra and Avery out even more. Avery’s music wasn’t the same without Tim.

Debra was on the verge of a migraine. Her head throbbed, she felt like she was going to get sick, and the bright lights from the arena certainly didn't help.

She was looking for some ice for her head and a coffee because caffeine worked well for her when she had a migraine. People were in line at the little restaurant at the arena and she took a spot at the back of the line. She was shocked to see Tim in front of her.

She grabbed his shoulder, turning him around. “What do you think you’re doing?” She asked harshly.

“Debra...it all makes sense now. I knew there was a reason why I’m supposed to be here but I couldn’t quite remember.” He snapped his fingers.

She looked at him, amazed at how baked he was. “Come on! You’re about to go on.”

“I’m hungry, can we eat first?”

Debra gives him the biggest glare and grabs his hand. She leads him to the stage. “Just remember that if the show goes south tonight, it’s your fault.”

Avery comes up to her next. “Are you okay? You don’t look too well.”

Debra shakes her head. “Go on stage.”

“But-”

“Avery,  _ now. _ ”

Avery frowns, going on stage. She hoped this show would go well. It would be really bad for Avery if it didn’t. She made sure Avery was fine on stage before going to search for the nearest bathroom. She was lucky that the bathroom she chose was empty. She didn't know how that could be, but she was thankful. 

Debra chose the handicap stall and locked the door before leaning over the toilet, letting the food in her stomach come up. She made sure there was nothing left before flushing the contents away, taking a deep breath, and sinking to the floor with her knees to her chest. Debra took her glasses off and for the first time in what felt like forever, she let herself cry into her arms. 

Her mom was dead. Her dad was dead. She wished she didn’t even  _ know  _ Avery. That way she didn’t even have to deal with Avery breaking up with her because of how Debra treated her. Everything was falling apart and it was her fault.


	13. Indianapolis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra and Lily go out and party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three days later

Debra knew she didn’t deserve Avery. She wanted to pretend that she did, but she knew she didn’t. She treated her like shit and was waiting for the day Avery couldn’t stand it any longer and ended their almost a year and a half relationship. So, why had Avery taken her in her arms that night in Kansas City, cuddling her and telling her how much she loved her? It didn’t make any sense.

Now they were in Indianapolis and next to Liverpool, Debra thought it was the least inspiring city she had ever been to. Avery performed well on stage and they were back in their hotel room. Avery was laying on her stomach on the bed, with her head in her arms. The touring had been catching up to her and she was exhausted. She had about five shows left and she could go home and see Snowflake. She missed him so much and she hoped he was doing well.

Debra took off her blazer, keeping the top on underneath and changed into some skinny jeans, before letting her hair down. Avery thought she looked hot as hell with her hair down. Debra always wore her hair up, so this was a treat.

“Where are you going?” Avery muttered, her hands in her arms still.

“Out.” Debra put a pair of heels on. “Are you coming?”

Avery looks up. “I’m exhausted. Are you trying to get a new girlfriend in that outfit?”

Avery’s comment made Debra a little nervous. Had Avery been looking for a new girlfriend? She knew Avery was most likely joking but it made her a little uneasy still. Debra gave her a look as someone knocked on the door. Debra went and answered it, seeing Lily on the other side. Lily had a black crop top that said  _ hustle  _ on it with black ripped skinny jeans as well.

“What?” Debra asked, walking back into her hotel room. Lily knew it was an invitation to follow.

“Where are you going?” Lily asked.

Debra grabbed her key to the hotel room. “Out.”

“Can I come?” She asked hopefully.

“You’re paying for anything we buy,” Debra decided and grabbed her keys. Lily nodded, excited.

“Have fun, you two,” Avery told them but she looked half asleep.

They grabbed an Uber and Lily chatted the whole time about how she wanted to check out the city. Debra told her that the city was probably the most boring city on the tour and Lily rolled her eyes, not believing it. They made it to a nightclub and they walked in like they owned the place. They sat at the bar and ordered drinks.

“So how are you and Amanda?” Debra asked.

Lily’s eyes lit up at the sound of Amanda’s name. “We’re good! She might come to the last show.”

“I hope Avery’s not planning on giving out free tickets again.” Debra took a drink. Lily gave a nervous laugh.

They sat and chatted for a few minutes before Lily nudged her. “Wanna go to the bathroom with me?”

“Lily, I’m not gonna talk to you while you reapply your makeup.” Debra took another drink. The drink she had ordered was strong and that’s exactly what she needed right now.

“Has anyone told you that you complain a lot?” Lily grabbed Debra’s hand. “Come with me.”

They pushed their way through the crowd and made it to the bathroom. Lily looked under each stall door before putting her purse on the bathroom sink and taking out a rolled up blunt. She took a lighter out as well.

“Are you trying to get us arrested for possession of marijuana?” Debra practically screamed.

“The hell’s the matter with you? You don’t yell that!” Lily screamed back. Debra grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the bathroom, out of the nightclub and into the alleyway next to it.

“You can do it here, but I’m not about to make a stupid decision like you were about to.” Debra had an unamused look on her face.

“Are you kidding me? We would have been fine. Do you know how many people were stoned there? More than you care to think about!” Lily plopped herself on the street and Debra sat next to her. “Want some?

Debra looked at it for a second before gesturing with her fingers to hand the blunt over. “Gimme that.”

Lily did as she was ordered and handed it over. Debra took it to her lips and breathed in. She held the weed in her lungs for a minute before letting out. She forgot how nice it felt sometimes to feel like she was floating.

“I’m surprised you’re not coughing up your lungs,” Lily commented.

“I used to do it all the time in college,” Debra told her. She gave back the weed.

“Avery did it a lot in college too,” Lily, taking her own puff of the blunt. She handed it back for Debra to take her own puff.

“I shouldn’t be doing this. I’ll end up like my dad.”

Lily froze, not sure how to react to that statement. However, Debra burst into a fit of giggles, which made Lily laugh as well. They shared the blunt until it was gone. They also laughed together a lot and if one had been walking past them, they would have been mistaken for best friends.

“So what’s your deal, Lily?” Debra asked after awhile. “You were anorexic, right?”

Neither one of their filters were the best because of the weed, but Lily guessed that even if Debra hadn’t been high, she still would have asked that question.

Lily looked at her, trying to figure her out. She nodded, “Ninety five pounds.”

“Sometimes I feel like Avery’s going back to that place,” Debra admitted.

Lily looked at her again, but this time shocked. “You didn’t know Avery the first time she was bulimic. Debra, she was the most broken girl I had ever seen and sometimes I still blame myself for that, but I can promise you that she’s not relapsing. She loves you so much and wants your approval. She looks up to you in so many ways.”

“I think she’s gonna break up with me soon,” Debra told her.

“She’s not. Trust me.”

* * *

They made it back to the hotel. Avery was sitting on the bed, watching tv when the giggly pair walked in. Debra sat on the bed and Avery instantly got a whiff of pot coming off of them. She got off the bed and dragged Lily to the door.

“What were you thinking?” Avery sneered.

“I don’t get it?” Lily looked confused. “By the way, your face looks funny when you’re mad.”

“I’m starving, let’s order room service!” Debra announced, grabbing the menu off the nightstand.

Avery ignored her, still talking to Lily. “You know she’s sad!”

“I’m not sad!” Debra called from the bed. She was unaware that she wasn’t a part of the conversation.

Avery changed her words. “You know she’s vulnerable. Don’t take advantage of her like that!”

“I’m not vulnerable either!”

Lily crossed her arms. “I don’t see why it matters. Besides, her working all the time isn’t going to make her happy.”

“Well you didn’t have to go and get her high!” Avery argued.

“Hey, I didn’t get her high. She made the decision herself!”

Avery took a deep breath. She was annoyed that her girlfriend was high, but she knew Lily had a point. Debra had a voice and if she didn't want to get high, she would have said. “You’re right. You didn’t make her do anything.”

Lily nodded, “Thank you.”

They went and sat on the bed. Debra was staring at the menu, zoned out. She hadn’t even realized that the other two girls had sat down next to her. 

Lily laughed. “Come back to Earth, Debra.”

Debra snapped out of it and grabbed the phone before pressing the appropriate numbers to call for food.

“Hello, yes. This is room 208.” There was a pause and Avery figured they were getting ready to take her order. “I would like the mozzarella sticks. And a cheese pizza. And one caesar salad. And the spaghetti and meatballs. And the chocolate cake. And the-”

Avery grabbed the phone out of Debra’s hand. “That’s it, just charge it to the room. Thank you.”

Lily was laughing hysterically at Debra’s order. She was hungry herself and would steal some pizza from Debra. Avery unplugged the phone so Debra couldn’t call back. Debra wouldn’t be able to figure out that the phone had been unplugged.

An hour later, they were all happily eating the feast that Debra ordered. They all needed rest because they were leaving the next night, but for now they were enjoying each other’s company. Avery was very glad that Debra and Lily were getting along and hoped it stayed that way. They were coming down from the high.

“I’m sad that we didn’t stay at the club for a long time. I wanted to dance.” Lily ate the last mozzarella stick.

Debra put her salad bowl on the nightstand. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but you were cool to hang out with. I might consider hanging out with you again.”

Lily beamed at the compliment. Anyone who met Debra just had this goal in mind to impress her, whether they admitted to themselves or not. 

“Don’t think too much of it,” Debra said and Avery snorted. Of course, Debra would add that part in. But it didn’t really matter because her girlfriend and best friend were finally getting along and that’s all she wanted.


	14. Pittsburgh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra and Avery go on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two days later

After Indianapolis came Pittsburgh. It was only a five hour trip and Avery was thankful for that. As much as she loved being close with her girlfriend and her best friend, she needed her space. Ever since Lily had offered weed to Debra, the two had gotten really close. And Avery didn’t know if she loved or hated it. On the one hand, she was glad everyone got along, but on the other hand it seemed like they were too close. And she didn’t even know Debra would be okay with that.

Normally, Avery would sleep in way past Debra so she was surprised that even at ten in the morning, Debra was still snoozing away, wrapped up in the hotel’s comforter with only her head poking out. Avery took a minute to study her girlfriend. In her sleep, Debra looked relaxed, like she hadn’t taken the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Avery thought she was beautiful. Her blonde hair that was splayed across the pillow. Her lips slightly parted. Her closed eyes. Everything about her body was perfect and sometimes Avery wished that she was Debra because she thought she was perfect.

Her show last night in Pittsburgh had gone well. It was cheesy, but she thought they really had the best fans. They were supportive and nice. They sang along with her at the songs. They bought her merchandise from vendors at the shows. Debra was happy that the tour was successful and so was she. Everything was turning out fine. Avery knew it probably would, but she still had her doubts. At least today she had a break before leaving for Baltimore.

“Hey, wake up.” Avery nudged Debra softly. She knew Debra wouldn’t be happy if she slept real late. Debra moved a little in her sleep, but she didn't wake up. Avery poked her cheek. “Wake up.”

This time, Debra did wake up. She opened her eyes, looking at Avery. She looked tired still, even after sleeping for nearly ten hours. Avery wondered how much sleep Debra had actually got on this tour. Her heart ached for the older woman, feeling bad.

“Why did you poke my face?” Debra asked. Her voice was sleepy and Avery found it hot.

“You wouldn’t wake up,” Avery shrugged. She put her head gently on Debra’s stomach, “Can we go on a date today?”

Debra couldn’t help but run her hands through Avery’s hair. It was soft and recently dyed, making her ends super blue. 

“Okay,” She agreed. It might not have seemed like it, but Debra was actually trying to improve on her relationship skills. Having said that, she was still cold and distant with everyone else.

“Yay,” Avery celebrated. “What should we do? Sightseeing?”

“I guess that’s the best option,” Debra agreed and slightly nudged Avery’s head off her stomach.

Avery nudged her back and got off the bed, going to get ready herself. She chose a black Rolling Stones t-shirt and a pair of black leggings along with black boots. She always preferred to be comfortable while sightseeing in case there was a lot of walking involved. Debra decided to go the opposite route and stuck with her blazers. She chose a dark blue one with a black shirt underneath. She had matching pants and black heels.

Debra and Avery googled tourist attractions and quickly read about a zoo and aquarium that looked fun to visit. They Ubered there and Avery was most excited about the polar bears while Debra was interested in seeing the aquarium. Debra paid for their tickets and they saw the polar bears first, much to Avery’s excitement. She loved how they swam around and then rested on the rocks after a great swim. Debra loved the aquarium. It seemed peaceful and she loved to pick a fish and just watch that single fish glide through the water.

They saw tigers and cheetahs and leopards. However, there was a slight problem when seeing the giraffes. Avery was looking at the giraffes. They were close by each other and Avery heard a mom tell her daughter about how they were best friends. Debra, at some point, glued her eyes to her phone.

“Debra! Look at the animals with me! That’s not what a good girlfriend does.” Avery swatted at her phone and Debra put it away, looking at the animals. Avery had picked up on the fact that Debra hadn’t been taught the necessary social skills after her mom died. The ones that she needed like at a job interview or talking with a client. She lowkey wondered if Debra would struggle with social skills for the rest of her life. 

“Avery, look,” Debra pointed.

Avery looked at the giraffes once more and gasped when one of them was on the other’s back and it was very clear that they were mating. It only happened for a few seconds, but it was enough for the zoo guests all strike up a conversation.

“Come on, sweetie. Let’s go look at the elephants.” The mom grabbed her daughter’s hand and swiftly walked away in case they were to go at it again.

“Why would they let their animals do that here while everyone’s watching?” Debra grumbled.

“Debra, they’re animals. They’re not gonna listen to the zoo keepers,” Avery laughed, “They got a mindset of their own. Kinda like someone I know.” She poked Debra’s head. “I’m sad I couldn’t get a pic for Lily though. She would have loved that.”

Debra groans and takes Avery’s hand. “Come on now. We’re going to the giftshop so I can buy you a stuffed animal and be a good girlfriend.”

Avery giggled and followed Debra as she led her to the giftshop. Avery looked at all the available choices. She almost chose a stuffed bear but decided on a stuffed elephant who was smiling with his trunk curled up. He was a happy little elephant.

Avery grabbed him off the shelf and hugged him to her chest. “His name is Peanut!”

Debra gave her a look. “You do realize that elephants don’t actually eat peanuts, right?”

Avery continued to hug the elephant to her chest while furrowing her eyebrows, thinking about the fact Debra told her. Debra looked around the store impatiently, waiting for Avery to decide what she wanted to do.

“Still a Peanut,” She announced and carried him to the counter to pay for him. Debra slid over a credit card to pay and once she was handed the card back, she walked out the door. Avery grimaced at the rude behavior.

“Have a good day!” She wished the employee and walked out the door. Debra was outside, back on her phone.

“Is everything okay?” Avery asked and peered over the phone. “Are you working right now? Debra!”

“It’s not work,” She clarified and put her phone away. Avery decided to let it slide. She noticed a little playground across the street. It was completely empty.

“Let’s go play on the playground!” Avery says and Debra groans.

“Are you actually five?” She complained. “And why do we have to go to that one? There’s a reason why it’s empty. That’s probably where the sex offenders hang out!”

“Real funny, babe.” Avery rolled her eyes. She took Debra’s hand and took her across the park. She plopped down on a swing and made a face at the metal burning her legs. Debra sat down on the one next to her.

“When I was like ten, all I would do is swing on the swingset in my backyard.” Avery said, kicking her legs back and forth to make herself go a little higher. Debra stayed on the ground.

“I wasn’t a huge outdoors person,” Debra said back. “I liked to read books.”

“I can see that.” Avery pushed herself higher.

It was almost comforting in a way for Avery. It seemed like there was always something going on between the two of them, but right now, right here on the playground there wasn’t a problem between them.

“The last time I was on a playground was the day my mom died,” Debra confessed. Avery slowed to a stop and looked at Debra. She was expecting Debra to have a look on her face that was negative. But instead it was relaxed, almost peaceful. Like she could finally move past her mom’s death now that her dad died. Avery didn't know if that was the best situation for her to get over her mom dying, but she was glad that after all these years she was able to talk about it without the situation making her angry.

“I’m sorry,” Avery said and Debra gave her a smile.

“It’s okay.”

Avery smiled back. “When I was four, my dad would push me on the swings for like hours. I learned how to play guitar from him.”

“My dad punched my mom once,” Debra said and this time she did have a negative look on her face. “My mom was the most perfect mom in the world and he treated her like she was she was always doing something wrong, like she was the failure in the family. It only happened once that I know of. I was eavesdropping on their fight. And I shouldn’t have. I regret that so much.”

Avery took Debra’s hand in her own. She felt for her girlfriend. She had no doubt that it was a scary moment and no one shouldn’t have to witness that. 

“I’m so sorry, Debra. I don’t know what to say other than I know your mom didn't deserve that. I’m sure she was the best mom ever.” Avery kept her hand on Debra’s.

“It’s okay, it’s fine. It was like twenty one years ago.” Debra waved her off.

“It’s not, but we don’t have to talk about it. Thank you for trusting me with that.” Avery spoke softly.

“I trust you more than anyone,” Debra told her and that made Avery the happiest person on the planet.

“Are you going to the funeral?” Avery asked in the same quiet voice. She didn't want to scare Debra off. “It has to be soon, right?”

Debra looked at her in shock. 

“No,” She said, still a little shocked that Avery didn't know. “No, of course not. I told Janice that today.”

Avery nodded, taking the answer in. She thought maybe that was the best decision too. She didn't even want to go see her dad the first time at the hospital and she ended up going three times. That was a lot for someone who despised a parent.

“Thank you for buying Peanut.” She took Peanut out of the bag he was in and held him gently. 

“You’re welcome,” Debra nodded. 

They went back to the hotel not long after that. They needed sleep for the long day ahead of them while traveling on the bus and neither of them slept really good on the bunks. Avery was happy that they went on the date. It made her feel even closer to Debra. She was always learning something new about her every day and it’s what made it fun. 

Debra was also glad they went on the date. Avery was the one person who she wanted to be with and she was so glad Avery was willing to let her stay. Debra’s heart may or may not have melted when Avery fell asleep before her that night, cuddling Peanut to her chest.


	15. Baltimore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra, Avery, and Lily go to the beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Six days later

Next stop: Baltimore. Baltimore meant that there were four more shows on the tour. Avery had to admit that she would miss touring and hoped the opportunity would come again soon. Debra seemed delighted by the tour’s numbers and so if they continued to be just as high, Avery most likely would be able to go on another tour if she made a second album.

Avery was lucky enough to be able to perform twice in Baltimore. Her fans were amazing, as always, and she even met some who came to both of the shows. While Debra has happy about the money that the fans had brought in, Avery was happy that they even supported her. She remembered when the only audience members she had were just Lily and her parents.

Now she had her own fan base of real people from all over the country supporting her and she found that to be terrifying in a way. It seemed like everything she did now was recorded. One wrong move and everyone would know. And then Debra would be cleaning up her mess.

Now they were heading to the beach. It was Lily’s idea for them to hit the beach while they had the chance. Avery couldn’t pass the idea up. She and Lily loved the beach. Debra wanted to come along too because she wasn’t going to miss out on the opportunity to see her girlfriend in a swimsuit.

Luckily their hotel was right by the beach and only took about ten minutes to get there. They relied on Uber once again to make the trip. Avery figured if she got a dollar for every time they used Uber on this trip, she would be rich. The car ride was filled with Lily playing Nicki Minaj’s “Starships” only because the first line had the word beach in it. Debra tried to figure out which brand of sunscreen was the best for her to put on. And Avery hummed along to the song, in her own world.

They all wore bikinis. Debra had a simple back one on. She still had her hair piled on the back of her head and she had a pair of sunglasses on. Avery practically drooled when she saw her. Avery had a navy blue one on with white sunglasses. Debra thought she was the hottest person living. And Lily had a white one on that went well with her lavender hair. She also had brown sunglasses on. Lily was sure that they were the hottest group of girls there. When they got to the beach, they all put their towels and bags on a spot that was a little further away from the others that occupied the beach. Partly because Avery was sure to get recognized and partly because they weren’t real social butterflies to begin with.

“It’s so hot, I’m gonna have heat exhaustion,” Lily complained and sat down on her towel.

“It’s eighty degrees.” Debra reminded her. “You’re not going to suffer from heat exhaustion.”

“I am going to suffer from the heat though. Look at my girlfriend!” Avery spoke up.

Debra blushed. “Avery, stop.”

But Avery knew that she enjoyed the compliment. Debra knew she was pretty but there were times where she noticed Debra would take extra time getting ready or put extra makeup on. Avery knew she was pretty too. It was something she had struggled with for half a decade. There were days where she felt like she was the most beautiful girl in the world and days where she felt disgusted with herself. Debra knew it was up to her to help her see just how pretty she really was.

“You guys are gross. I’m going in the water,” Lily announced. 

Avery followed her into the ocean and Lily jumped on her back trying to pull her under. It was a fair challenge because they were both the same size. Lily screamed when Avery went too far under the water so they both got wet. Debra shook her head from where she was reading a magazine.

“I should take Amanda to a beach. She’s never been,” Lily decided. They were sitting in the water after an hour of fighting to dunk each other.

“Really?” Avery asked, lightly splashing Lily. 

“Yeah, she moved to Vancouver last year,” Lily told her, sending a small wave back. “How’s your girlfriend?”

They both looked over at Debra who was still reading the same magazine. She was a sucker for a good magazine. 

“She’s doing okay. She didn't want to go to the funeral yesterday though,” Avery told her. “As long as she talks to me, I think she’ll be fine.”

“You’re a good person, Avery Mercer,” Lily told her and Avery smiled at her best friend.

“We should pick up Debra and run with her to the ocean and drop her in,” Avery smirked.

“Are you kidding me, Avery? She’s gonna murder me in my sleep!” Lily said, her eyes big.

“No she won’t. She’ll murder  _ me  _ in my sleep!”

Lily nodded. She was the queen of pranks and Avery was surprised that Lily hadn’t suggested the idea before her. Lily thought it would be a funny prank. She just hoped Debra wouldn't hate her too much after this. Their bond had just began.

“You think we’re strong enough to pick her up though?” Avery wondered.

Lily scoffed, “Please. That woman has bird bones.”

Avery didn't remind her that they were both tinier than Debra but she figured with teamwork they could pull her in. The ocean wasn’t far off from where she was reading. The two silently agreed to start the prank. They walked over to her, standing 

“Did you have fun screaming in the water?” Debra said, her eyes still on the paper.

“Yeah, it was cool. Hey babe, you should take off your sunglasses,” Avery suggested.

Debra took off her sunglasses and looked at them. “Why? So you can dump me in the water? I’m not an idiot, Avery.”

“I was gonna say it’s because you have beautiful eyes, but go ahead and blame me for something I didn’t do.” Avery pouted and flopped on the sand next to her.

“I’m gonna go back in the water,” Said Lily. “I’m not gonna waste a beautiful day at the beach.” Lily walked back in the water and Avery watched her. 

“What magazine are you reading?” She asked and Debra gave her the magazine to look at. She stood up and walked around for a minute, stretching her arms and legs.

Avery couldn’t help but laugh when Lily snuck up behind her and dumped a bucket of water on Debra’s head. Avery didn't know that Debra could scream, but as soon as the water hit her, she let out the loudest scream Avery had ever heard. She was dripping wet from head to toe now and her hair was falling out of her bun.

Debra turned around calmly and picked up Lily without a second thought, carrying her to the ocean herself and dropping her in. The funniest part about it was how calm Debra did it. Lily laughed the whole way to the ocean but screamed as Debra literally dropped her in. The whole thing on Debra’s part was so nonchalant. Lily stood up from the water, laughing along with Avery.

Avery was still laughing hard, “At least I didn't get thrown in.”

And of course, that was the wrong thing to say because Debra picked up Avery and chucked her in the water as well. For someone with such little bones, Debra sure was strong.

They spent the next fifteen minutes by the ocean talking about the tour finishing up. Debra immediately went into business mode and Avery had to remind her that Lily didn't care about the money coming in.

“Oh my god!” Lily screamed, “That crab is looking at me!” Lily quickly stood up and went in the ocean to escape. “He’s gonna kill me! He was looking into my soul with it’s little black eyes!”

Debra rolled her eyes and went back to their towels to dry off. Avery followed her to dry off as well, leaving Lily to escape from the crab by herself.

Debra sat down with a sigh, wrapping the towel around her body and put her hair down. Avery pushed Debra’s wet hair back and laid her head on her shoulder. Debra wrapped her arms around her.

“I should have gone to the funeral. It’s been eating at me all day,” Debra admitted. Her voice was so soft that Avery almost missed her confession.

She looked up at her girlfriend. “Why didn't you say anything earlier?”

“Cuz it’s stupid.”

Avery lifted Debra’s head up so she can look her in the eyes. “Nothing you say is stupid. Why do you think you should have gone?”

Debra sighed again, the air making her lips a little bigger as they puffed out. “Seems like the easy way out.”

Avery didn't know what she meant by that. Was it about her other family members that attended or was it about herself? This was a whole new Debra that Avery was afraid to get to know. She never knew what to expect with Debra and she felt like she needed to start realizing that.

“Are you worried that people aren’t going to like you anymore because you didn't show?” Avery asked and Debra didn't respond. She decided to continue. “Since when do you care about what people think of you?”

Debra gave her a look. “I really don’t care what people think of me. But maybe if I went, then I wouldn't be convinced that I was a bad person.”

Avery spoke faster than she ever had before. It pained her to think that her girlfriend was being so hard on herself. Debra didn't deserve that. She knew that Debra knew that Rob wasn’t a good guy and she didn't understand why she was beating herself up.

“You are  _ not  _ a bad person, Debra.” Avery took Debra’s face in her hands so she knew she was listening. “I need you to listen to me. Your dad wasn't a good guy and what he did was his own fault, not yours. There would have been no good outcome by going to that funeral. You’re a good person, Debra. Whether you see it or not. And I’m so proud of you for all that you’ve been through over this past month. No one is stronger than you are.”

“Avery…don’t say stuff you don’t mean,” Debra whispered.

“I do mean it. I’ve never meant something more in my life,” Avery responded firmly. Debra responded by kissing her on the lips passionately. Kissing Avery had become one of her favorite things. They kissed for a minute before Lily came back.

“Oh god, my virgin eyes,” She groaned and covers them. Avery laughed at her while Debra sighed, pulling away from Avery. She still made sure to keep an arm around her.

Lily sat next to them, taking a drink from a water bottle they had brought with. Her eyes widened as she looked at the sand. 

“Holy shit, it’s back to get me!” She said, standing up quickly.

“That cannot be the same one,” Debra said, eyeing the small crab.

“It is!” She shouted, “It’s still looking into my soul!”

Debra rolled her eyes at the younger woman before looking at Avery. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Avery smiled.


	16. Columbus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra gets jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ten days later

Avery was very lucky that she was given a ten day break. She knew most people on tour didn’t get the luxury of a break and if she were ever to go on tour again, this most likely wouldn't happen. She spent it by sleeping in, hanging out with Lily a lot, and she even downloaded an app that allowed her to watch Snowflake play around with all the other puppies at the kennel he was staying at. She wished she would have known about it earlier on though. It would have made her less homesick. Debra spent her break by taking bubble baths, meditating, and catching up on The Bachelor. She loved to rip the girls apart. They also spent a lot of time having sex. But now was different.

“Stay the fuck away from me, Avery!” Debra yelled as Avery followed her. Debra stood outside a car.

“What did I do?” Avery asked, she was confused and hurt. And while Debra was hurt too, she was mostly just angry. Angry that she let her guard down with someone who was just going to hurt her. She should have never let herself get this far into a relationship. Debra knew she was going to get hurt and she  _ did. _

_ “ _ Do I really need to say?!” Debra shouted still.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about, so stop being dramatic and just tell me!” Avery shouted back just as loud.

* * *

_ The night before _

_ The show had gone well. Avery was now basically an expert at touring but Debra and her were both exhausted from the late night and wanted to go back to the hotel. They walked through the back of the arena but even so, there were fans waiting to talk to her and waiting to get an autograph. _

_ Of course, there were security guards there but the amount of fans was way more than the amount of guards. Debra and Avery both noticed a few girls from the crowd of fans that were groupies. They noticed them at all her concerts and even the meet and greets that Debra had set up. _

_ A black girl had shoved her way through the crowd and tapped on Avery’s shoulder to get her attention. Avery really wanted to go to sleep, but she wasn’t about to be rude to one of her fans. It was loud, her fans were screaming and talking at a high level to get her attention. _

_ “Hey, I recognize you! It means a lot to me that you’ve come to all my shows,” Avery said kindly. _

_ Debra stopped to observe the interaction. She saw the girl say something and step closer to Avery. _

_ The girl blushed, “Can I get a picture with you?” She asked Avery and she knew Avery would agree. Sure enough, the blue haired girl nodded and smiled as the girl snapped a picture. _

_ Debra’s eyes widened with anger as the girl whispered in Avery’s ear. Even her lips then puckered with rage when Avery whispered back, making the other girl blush harder. _

_ Most fans knew that Avery had a girlfriend. They didn't know who she was and what she did, but they knew Avery was taken. And if this girl was in her right mind, then she knew damn well that Avery was off the market. _

_ “Avery, now!” Debra snapped her fingers like Avery was a dog. _

_ Avery didn't like the gesture, but she knew better than to argue, especially when Debra was in her manager mode. She said goodbye to the groupie and walked off with Debra, getting into a car. _

* * *

“You don’t know the whole situation, Debra! How dare you assume that I would flirt with someone while I have a girlfriend!” Avery looked very offended.

“I saw her, Avery! You whispering into her ear isn’t nothing!” Debra fired back.

“I wasn’t whispering! I was yelling into her ear because it was loud!” Avery clarified. “Maybe if you weren’t so worried about how much the tour was bringing in money wise, you would notice. Just because your family was bankrupt after your mom died, doesn't mean that money is the most important thing in your life!”

Avery  _ knew _ she wasn’t supposed to say that, and she  _ did _ .

Debra became quiet for a minute at the words Avery had said.

“How did you know that?” Debra asked. Avery might have been wrong but it looked like Debra was on the verge of tears.

“Janice told me when we were at the hospital,” She confessed.

“Well stop sticking your nose in other people’s business, Avery. That’s all you’re good at.” Debra slammed the door in her face after getting in the car.

* * *

_ The yelling and screaming was too loud for Avery. She was tired and all she wanted to do was to go back to the hotel and shower before going to sleep. Avery felt the girl touch her shoulder softly, but still firm enough for Avery to know it wasn’t an accident. _

_ “Hey, I recognize you! It means a lot to me that you’ve come to all my shows,” She said, smiling. _

_ The girl blushed, “I’m Jasmine.” _

_ Avery knew she should get going if she didn't want to piss Debra off. But the last thing she wanted was magazine headlines to be calling her rude. Debra could get over her talking to a fan for a few seconds. Jasmine stepped closer. _

_ “Can I get a picture?” Jasmine asked and Avery nodded. Jasmine pulled out her phone and held it up, Avery and her both smiling.  _

_ She put the phone away and took Avery by surprise, whispering in her ear, “Wanna come back to my hotel room?” _

_ The tone was flirty and the intentions were clear. Jasmine wanted to sleep with Avery. _

_ Avery cupped her hand around her mouth and shouted into Jasmine’s ear so she could hear. _

_ “Sorry, I have a girlfriend!”  _

_ The girl blushed with embarrassment and Avery said goodbye to her as Debra called her name with harshness.  _


	17. Toronto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra puts herself in danger unknowingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two days later

It wasn’t even awkward after Debra left in the car. It was tense but not awkward. Mostly because they weren’t talking to each other. They both thought they were in the right. Debra thought Avery had flirted with another girl and Avery knew she didn’t. But Debra wouldn't listen to Avery so they just both mutually agreed to not talk.

When they weren’t stuck together in the arena, Debra went out a lot. She partied and even smoked weed some more. Avery stayed in the hotel room with Lily and vented all about her problems. She was sure Lily was sick of hearing them by now.

Avery’s performance wasn’t the best that night. To her fans, it was great but to her and Debra, it sucked. Debra didn’t even talk to her about it, which hurt. Instead she just shook her head and walked out, getting in yet, another car.

“The nearest bar,” She told the driver and the driver sped off. They made it to the bar within a record of time and Debra handed over some cash to the taxi driver and climbed out, grabbing a seat. 

“Give me your strongest drink,” She told the bartender and he nodded and walked off.

“I know you,” Someone said from beside her. She turned her head and saw the girl from the night at the arena. She had a drink in her hand and was looking at Debra. But Debra didn't know her name.

“I know you too. I also know that I never gave you permission to sit by me.” The bartender delivered her drink and walked off to serve other customers.

“Well I’m not moving.” She set her drink down. “Can you believe Avery Mercer has a girlfriend? I mean, I can. She has a hot body. But I at least thought she would hook up with me.”

“I can too,” Debra muttered, looking straight ahead, not bothering with eye contact. She slammed her drink back.

“It sucks,” The girl continued.

“If it sucks, then why do you still come to her shows?” Debra asked.

“Cuz I’m her fan, not just some weirdo who wants to hook up with a celebrity.”

Debra looked at her. This girl really pissed her off and was getting on her nerves. Of course, the girl didn't know that Debra was her girlfriend but she wouldn't shut up.

“So what did she say to you? Avery, I mean,” Debra asked. That was dangerous territory and she knew it was possible that the answer was just going to make her more mad.

“That she had a girlfriend. That was it. A little embarrassing but whatever.” The girl shrugged.

_ Son of a bitch,  _ Debra thought. Just by assuming things, she might have fucked up her whole relationship. Why couldn’t she just get one thing right for once? She dipped her head and willed herself not to cry. Not in public and definitely not in front of this girl. She needed to be tough, at least until she was in private.

Debra stuck out her hand so the girl could shake it. “What’s your name?”

The girl shook it. “Jasmine.”

“Debra Hammer.” She got up from her seat. “Avery’s girlfriend.” And walked out of the restaurant.

It had been dark for a while now and Debra wasn’t familiar with the town. She didn't want to go back to the hotel but didn't know what else she could do at the moment. She pulled out her phone and ordered an Uber back to her hotel, sighing in disappointment.

The Uber app told her that her ride was about ten minutes away. She decided to wait outside the bar. She wouldn't dare go back in there while Jasmine was. It would just end up in a fight or Jasmine apologizing too many times and Debra wanted neither of those.

Two guys who looked like they were in their twenties walked out of the bar, clearly not sober. They stumbled a little as they walked and they both eyed Debra. Debra felt uncomfortable to say the least.

“You got money?” One of them asked, stepping closer to her.

Debra nodded, she had dealt with these types of guys before outside the studio she rented. “Yes.”

The guy who had asked her the question and looked at the second guy who looked back at him for just a second and turned back to Debra, swinging his arm back and punching her in the nose. The impact made her fall to the ground and she clutched her nose that was now bleeding hard.

Debra felt a blow to her ribs and yelped in pain as she tried to get up. But she couldn’t get up. The guys were still hovering over her and she felt too weak. She covered her head as she felt more kicks.

“Grab her bag,” One of the guys instructed and she felt her bag being pulled away from her. She wanted to fight back. All of her important stuff was in that bag. Money, credit cards, her planner that she used on a daily basis, her designer sunglasses.

“Hey!” Another voice shouted. Debra couldn’t see a lot. Her vision was blurry and the pain had been blinding. 

“Go go go!” One of the guys yelled and they both ran off, dropping the bag, not wanting to get caught. Debra saw a guy in a police uniform run after them and someone else, wearing casual clothes, kneeling by her.

“I’m going to call an ambulance. You’re going to be okay.” He put a hand gently on her shoulder as he pulled out his phone and put it up to his ear. As it rang, the guy put her purse by her head. It was too painful to move her head and she was comforted knowing that her bag hadn’t been stolen.

“I’m fine.” She pushed him away. “I just need a minute.”

The guy shook his head and continued to call. She was tired and wanted to sleep and didn't have the energy to fight him. She was fading in and out of consciousness while waiting.The ambulance arrived shortly and they put her on a stretcher and loaded her into the back of the vehicle.

“My bag. I need my bag,” She said and the nice guy put it on the stretcher before the ambulance whisked her away.

  
  


* * *

“I don’t know, Lily. I just think we’re going to break up,” Avery sighed sadly. “She’s mad at me and won’t even listen to me.”

The two were enjoying a late night pizza in the hotel room.

Lily shook her head. “You have to make her listen to you. She’s not going to do it because she wants to. Make her feel the need to listen to you.” Lily shoved some pizza in her mouth. “Besides, I’ve already tried to get her to listen to you. Best friends can only do-”

Lily’s statement was cut off as Avery’s phone rang.

“Hold that thought, Lily,” She said and answered the phone. “Hello? Yes. Uh huh. Are you sure? Okay, okay. I’m going. Thank you for calling.” Avery looked at Lily while suddenly in a rush.

“I gotta go, Debra was in a fight or something?” Avery was talking too fast and Lily could barely understand what she was saying. Avery always talked a mile a minute when she was anxious.

“A fight?” Lily gasped. That didn't seem anything like Debra. Debra got mad sometimes and picked fights but never physical fights.

“I don’t know. I guess. The guy on the phone said he only saw the aftermath. I guess she's in an ambulance?” Avery shook her head, upset.

“Holy shit,” Lily said and took her best friend by the shoulders. “Breathe or I’m not letting you go.”

Avery wanted to punch Lily, but she knew that she needed to be calm for whatever she was about to walk into. She took three deep breaths and nodded after. Lily released her.

“I’m coming with,” She announced.

Avery looked back at her. “Why?”

“Because she’s my friend too,” Lily said and grabbed her own stuff before they walked out the door.

* * *

“She’s sedated so she’s a bit out of it. She kept fighting the doctors when they tried to wrap her ribs up.” The nurse guided them through a set of double doors.

“Is she going to be okay?” Avery asked worriedly.

The nurse nodded. “She’ll be fine. The punch missed her nose and we’re just dealing with her bruised ribs. That’s the worst part. For how much pain she’s in, the injuries aren’t too bad. We’ll release her tomorrow morning. She needs rest and to not push herself.”

They walked into a room. Debra was laying on the hospital bed. She was wearing a hospital gown and her hair was messed up but still in a bun. The whole left side of her face looked awful. It was almost all purple. Avery couldn’t tell if she was awake or sleeping.

Lily flops herself in a comfy looking chair beside her and pulls out a nail file to do her nails. Avery sat on the bed.

“Hey baby, I’m here.” Avery softly touched Debra’s hand, rubbing her knuckles softly. There were no bruises on either one, so she figured she wasn’t causing any pain.

Debra opened her eyes. “When did you get here?” She mumbled.

“Just now. It’s already two in the morning. You’ve been here a little longer than me,” Avery explains.

“I messed up. Avery, I…”

But Debra couldn’t finish her sentence because she had fallen asleep.

“Debra! Wake up!” Lily shouted from the chair.

Avery glared at her. “What’s wrong with you?” 

Lily shrugged and went back to doing her nails.

“Did you say my name?” Debra asked, awake again.

“Shhh,” Avery said and smoothed Debra’s hair down. Debra looked very vulnerable at the moment and Avery knew that if Debra could see herself at that moment, she would hate it.

“I need my bag,” Debra said and Lily handed it to her. Debra placed it by her side so she knew it was by her. “I messed up.”

“It’s okay, baby. We’ll get through this.” 

“I messed up.” Debra was on the verge of falling asleep again. Avery leaned forward and for the first time in what felt like days, she kissed her forehead lovingly.

Debra would be okay. But would their relationship be okay?


	18. Chicago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last stop on the tour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three days later

Two hours and six cups of coffee between the two of them was what was shared while Debra told Avery everything about herself. How her dad wasn’t even her biggest fan before her mom’s death. Her mom’s death. How she got rid of all her mom’s things and replaced them with new things. How she found happiness in buying things. How her dad threw her out in a tent and took her things away. How they almost ended up homeless. 

They were fine. Debra had done way more than what Avery wanted and apologized more than needed. Debra really wanted things to get better and Avery thought it would be.

The thing is, Avery didn't ask to know that stuff. She would have been fine with just the bankruptcy part that she admittedly, was curious to know about. But this was so much better. For the first time ever, Avery truly got to know her girlfriend.

The bruises on Debra’s ribs were still very sore. They weren’t wrapped up anymore, but she was ordered to take it easy by not lifting heavy things and to sit whenever possible. The doctor also said her face would take about two weeks to heal which pissed off Debra even more. But Lily promised to do her makeup every day so it was less noticeable.

“Ow, Lily. Jesus,” Debra complained. They were at the arena for the last show of the tour and it was a very bittersweet moment for all three of them. Debra would not admit this, but Lily had become very close to her and Debra thought of her like a younger sister. 

“Thou shalt not use Jesus’ name in vain,” Lily responded and continued to lightly brush over Debra’s wounds.

“Lily, stop that. You are not religious. Just the other day, you said Jesus because you dropped your fork,” Avery reminded her. Avery was sitting across from Debra, wanting to give her a little space if she needed it.

“Jesus! Thou shalt not bring up the past either,” Lily said with an attitude.

Avery studied Debra, impressed with Lily’s work. Lily was a true artist in many ways. It really looked like Debra hadn’t been pummeled by a couple of drunks. Avery smiled at her beautiful girlfriend.

“You’re gorgeous,” She smiled.

“I guess thanks to Lily,” She shrugged. 

“I’ve had my fair share of bruises before. Used to get the shit beat out of me every day. Had to learn to cover them up.” Lily looked down, pretending to mess with a makeup brush. She didn’t mind people hearing her story, but it was different when it came to Debra. Debra was unpredictable with her responses and didn't really care about offending someone.

“How did you leave?” Debra asked. Her voice became softer as she looked Lily.

Lily looked over at Avery to see if it was safe to tell the truth. Avery nodded and Lily looked back over at Debra

“I got her busted for heroin. She was a big user in the past and she wasn’t using then but I planted some in her house, knowing she had been in trouble with the law before and called the cops.” Lily was looking at Debra, trying to look confident.

“You’re a badass.”

Lily shook her head and started packing up the makeup brushes. “Am not. I took the easy way out.”

Debra didn't know what to say about that so she thanked her for her work. Avery needed to be on stage in about three hours. She successfully completed a sound check, getting more nervous. This was the biggest show of the tour and the last one. If she made a mistake, everyone would remember.

* * *

The second to last song ended and Avery knew she had to fill in some of the time by talking. But what would she talk about? It was hard coming up with things to talk about at every stop. But it was her last show. She wanted it to be special. She grabbed a stool off the side of the stage that had been misplaced and set it in the middle of the stage.

“You know, a lot of times before a show, I plan out what I’m going to say. Or at least think of it before I go on. But I didn't do that today. I thought I’d try something different.” Nearly everyone in the audience had their phones out now and she knew she had to be careful about what she said next.

“She better not fuck this up,” Debra commented from backstage. She was sitting on a couch by a tv that displayed the concert.

“I never even thought I’d be where I am today. God’s honest truth. I always thought I’d be stuck playing at bars or in churches with my best friend, Lily, who I adore so much. So thank you, Lily for always being there. And my agent, who believed in me, when I didn’t think I could go anywhere this big. My girlfriend who’s watching backstage, who believed in me. I love you. And last but not least, my family who is in Germany right now.” Avery takes a deep breath, suddenly nervous. She hoped she didn’t fuck it up. She continued, “And I can’t forget my fans who have been there this whole tour and bought my album. That means so much to me and words can’t explain the gratitude I have.”

Lily turned to Debra excitedly. “She said my name!”

Avery grabbed her guitar and began playing the last song. The tour had meant so much to her and she had learned so much. And she was sure Debra had learned some stuff on tour too. She was blessed to have the tour, Debra, Lily, and her family. She had so much love to spread.

Avery walked backstage after giving a last goodbye and was immediately picked up off the ground by Lily. “I love you, you freakin’ superstar!”

Avery hugged her back, excitedly. “I love you too.”

Lily dropped her and she turned to go find Debra. But she didn’t need to because Debra was right behind her, leaning against a doorway. She had a look on her face that Avery didn’t recognize and her arms were crossed. Avery was sure it was hurting her ribs.

“That was some speech you gave,” She started.

“Yeah.”

“People don’t usually say anything interesting,” Debra continued.

Avery looked at Lily for a split second before looking back at Debra.

“But you said some pretty interesting stuff.” She stepped closer to Avery. “You were wrong about one thing though. I should be the one thanking you for believing in me.”

Avery gently pulled Debra into her arms and kissed her intensely.

* * *

The trio decided to go to a gas station after the show and buy all the ice cream there to eat at the hotel. And so that’s what they did. They stopped at a gas station and bought all the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream they could find and went back to the hotel.

They were spread out of Lily’s hotel bed in her own room. The trashcan was filled halfway already with empty tubs of ice cream and they still had at least ten more flavors to try.

Debra looked around the room. Never in a million years did she think she would be this content. Sure, her dad died and he treated her awful, but she had a girlfriend who loved her and would always support her. She had a close friend who tried to understand her and wasn’t too much like her. She would be okay.

“I can’t believe we’re celebrating a tour with food babies,” Lily said but shoved more ice cream into her mouth.

“We’ll do something better,” Debra promised, on her phone. “I’m not gonna let this tour slide without a celebration.”

“Hey! Let’s all take a selfie for the end of the tour! We should have gotten one at the beginning too but at least we’ll have the end,” Avery suggested and pulled out her own phone.

She opened the camera app up and stretched her arm out to fit them all in the photo. Lily attached herself to Avery’s side and stuck her tongue out. Avery smiled widely. Avery was surprised when Debra looked up from her phone. She didn’t smile but she also didn’t grab Avery’s phone and nearly chuck it in water like another time. Avery called it a successful selfie.

“Can I post it?” Avery asked them. Lily looked over her shoulder at the picture and nodded. Debra didn’t look at the picture, but she shrugged.

“Are you sure?” She asked. There were no pictures of Debra on Avery’s social media accounts for many reasons. But the picture didn’t suggest anything other than them being friends so Debra nodded. Avery smiled in satisfaction and posted it with a caption.

The stress of the tour was over, but what was next?


	19. Seattle Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra and Avery visit Debra's mom's grave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One month later

_ In Loving Memory of _

_ Eleanor Hammer _

_ March 13, 1967 - August 2, 1999 _

Debra stared at her mother’s grave in sadness. She hadn’t come by in years. She wasn’t strong enough. But now here she was with flowers in her hand and Avery by her side. She could do this. Debra set the flowers down in front of the tombstone in the cemetery and sat down Indian style in the grass. Avery copied her actions. Debra was almost all healed up. Her ribs were still a little bruised but she felt better than ever.

“How are you feeling?” Avery asked kindly.

“I don’t know. Do you think she’s mad at me?” Debra asked suddenly. “I haven’t been here since I was sixteen. Maybe she deserved a better daughter.”

“She loved you, she still does.” Avery put a hand on her knee.

Debra laughed, “She was the mom who would let me skip school when I wasn’t sick. And she would let me take sips of her alcohol. That was bad. And when I came out, she took me to the beach to help me find a girl.” Avery laughed as well before Debra continued, “She was the best mom. I couldn’t have been more lucky.”

Avery studied Debra’s face. If she was going to cry, now would be the time where she would do it. But Debra didn't cry. The appropriate thing to do would be to cry. Or get mad. Had Debra been able to finally accept her mother’s death and deal with it in healthy ways? Or was she hiding her true feelings?

“What are you thinking?” Avery prompted.

Debra grabbed some grass. “It’s weird that I had to have someone else die in order to accept my mom’s death. That’s shitty, isn’t it?”

Avery sighed. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know why things happen the way they do. I don’t know why that guy decided to run your mom over or why your dad decided to not accept who you are. But you’re one of the strongest people I know, Debra. And I can only believe that all of this has made you stronger. It sucks, yeah. It sucks badly to lose your parents at such a young age, but there has to be a reason. And I’ll be here every step of the way trying to help you figure out that reason.”

Debra looked at her with a crooked grin. “Maybe you are the reason.”

And that was enough for Avery to lean over and kiss her softly. Debra kissed back with just as much passion. Debra had so much love to give to Avery and she wanted her to know just how truly special she was. And she would show her forever just how lucky she was to even know her.

Avery leaned back, pulling away from the kiss. “Sorry, but I can’t make out in front of your mom. Or your mom’s grave.”

Debra laughed, “She would’ve teased me.”

“Is your mom eight?” Avery laughed.

“Mentally, yes.”

They both laughed a little before falling into silence. Avery looked around the cemetery. There was an old man wearing a coat and a hat. It was strange since it was the end of August. But Avery noticed that he had flowers too. Maybe he was visiting his wife. Besides them and the old man, the cemetary was empty. Avery looked back at Debra.

“Lexi died this weekend.”

Debra looked back at Avery. “Who’s Lexi?”

Avery smacked her arm gently. “You know who she is. The girl at the meet and greet. She was wearing a bandana and I talked to her a little longer than the rest.”

“Oh.”

“Her grandpa messaged me on Twitter. Pretty techy guy for his age. I don’t know. He said I impacted her life a lot and made it better this past year. But I don’t see how. I was just being friendly at the meet and greet like anyone else would. Anyways, I guess she had a fever so her parents took her to the hospital.” Avery hid her face in her hands and let out a loud sob, “And she never left after that.”

Avery felt Debra pull her onto her lap as she continued to cry. Her shoulders shook softly as she latched herself onto Debra and continued to cry. She felt awful. This was supposed to be Debra’s trip and here she was crying about someone who she barely knew.

“It’s not fair. These people. Your mom and Lexi. Others who have died too young. They deserve better and we can’t do anything about it.” Avery tried to control her breathing. It would have been understandable if someone saw Avery crying. It was an appropriate action in a cemetery. But Avery still felt embarrassed.

“I have no doubt that you helped her. Music can go a long way.” Debra gently removed Avery’s hands from her face. “Why do you think I went into this business?”

Avery looked at her. “So you can be rich.”

Debra laughed, “Okay, what’s the second reason why I went into the business?”

Avery shrugged.

“Because music can make a huge impact on someone’s life. It did for me. It did for you. It did for Lexi,” Debra listed. “Your music isn’t nothing, Avery.”

“I just wish I could have done more.”

“We always do. There’s always something we wish we could do different, but it’s not your fault she died. Just like it’s not my fault my mom died.” Debra rubbed soothing circles on Avery’s back. “Lexi appreciated what you did for her. And her grandpa thanks you too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Debra confirmed. “Now let’s go home.”

“Let’s go home,” Avery nodded.

Debra moved Avery off her lap and stood up. She gave Avery her hand and helped her up, giving her a kiss on her cheek. Avery wiped away the extra tears on her face as they walked hand in hand out of the cemetery.


	20. New York City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ten months later

The New York City Pride Parade. One of New York’s biggest celebrations.

Avery was dressed in a rainbow tank top and jean shorts with sneakers as she pushed through the crowd, trying to find Debra. Her cheeks had rainbow paint on them as well. She was performing after the parade. While Debra wished that they could make a profit off the performance, the right thing to do was to do it for free.

Drag queens, topless women, and other participants tapped her on the shoulder, desperate to say hi and maybe get an autograph. While she certainly didn’t mind giving an autograph, she had places she needed to be. And Debra wouldn’t be too happy if she was late to perform.

“Avery!” Someone yelled and Avery looked over to see Lily and Amanda waving. She walked over to them and brought Amanda into a hug. While she saw Lily almost every day, she hadn’t seen Amanda in months. She really liked Amanda and thought she was great for Lily. Lily and Amanda both wore different rainbow colored crop tops with leggings on. Amanda had a bandana around her head as well.

She frowned realizing something was different. Lily was holding a  Dachshund puppy with a little pride cape on. The puppy squirmed in Lily’s hands, excited about Avery’s arrival.

“Lily, this is not your dog,” Avery reminded her. 

“You’re right. It’s not,” Lily agreed.

Amanda held her arms up in defense so Avery knew she had nothing to do with the dognapping. 

“So why do you have this dog?” Avery asked.

Lily shrugged. “He came up to me and followed me. So I took him under my wing.”

Avery shook her head. Even with the amount of people that were attending the parade, the real owner would most likely be looking for the dog. It was a matter of time before Lily would have to give the dog back.

“There you guys are!” Debra yelled. Avery smiled at her girlfriend. Even in ninety degree weather, Debra insisted on wearing a blazer and heels. Avery figured her girlfriend must be magic if she could wear heels to a parade.

Debra wrapped her arm around Avery’s waist and brought her into a quick kiss before getting down to business.

Debra reads off a piece of paper. “Your performance starts in an hour and they want a sound check in a half hour, so we should probably go in like twenty minutes so we can get past the crowd.” She looks at the dog. “Who is this?”

“Our new child,” Lily answers and Amanda shakes her head.

“No, honey. That is not our child. That is someone else’s child.” She clarifies.

Debra’s eyes widened. “You stole a dog?”

Lily jumped into a rant about how she didn’t steal the dog but the dog chose her instead of his owner. Debra was still suspicious but left it be. They all started walking aimlessly around the crowd. The parade would start any minute and they wanted good spots so they could see.

Debra used her “manager” voice to tell people move out of the way. People listened and tried to make as much room as possible for the four girls. Especially when she called them idiots.

“Debra, you can’t call people idiots here,” Avery explained. “You’re going to get yourself into a fight.”

Debra raised an eyebrow. “Did I or did I not just get us good spots?”

The three other girls nodded quickly, thankful for the spots at the front. The parade began and music filled the air as bands and performers filled the streets. It was an amazing experience that all four girls hoped to experience again. The feeling of being accepted for who you were was all anyone wanted in life and in the parade, you could be just that. People waved big and little rainbow flags around to show their support.

Sadly, she couldn’t watch the whole parade because she needed to get to sound check. She shoved her way back through the crowd and found her way to the stage that had been built, with Debra. She was handed a microphone by one of her bandmates that had already been there.

“Thanks,” She said and wiped off some sweat that was on her forehead. Luckily the people who were there were more focused on the parade so if she made a mistake, she wouldn’t have three million people watching her. The soundcheck went well but she was a little nervous. She had never performed for this many people at once. 

Debra walked up to her. “You’re nervous, aren’t you?”

“And you’re not? Debra, I could mess up badly. You should be nervous.” Avery put her hand to her mouth, beginning to bite them.

“Hey! None of that,” Debra scolded and grabbed her hand gently. “You’re going to fine. The more you think about it, the more likely you’re going to mess up.”

Avery knew that was true and she made herself think of other things that had happened in the ten months that went by. She flew to Germany to visit her grandma and her parents. She began working on her second album. But the most important thing to her was that she teamed up with the Children’s Cancer Foundation. A portion of the proceeds for her next album would go to kids like Lexi who have cancer. She hoped that she could make a difference in these people’s lives. Maybe they wouldn’t live to an old age, but if she could help them live a few more years, then she was more than happy. It was a big deal. Normally people don’t donate that much based off an album’s earnings. But unlike others, she wasn’t singing for money. She was singing because it was her passion.

The time had come for Avery to perform and Debra gave her a nod before she went on. She really shouldn’t have worried. She was a natural performer and that was shown with all of her performances. She never missed a beat, forgot the lyrics, or stuttered and she was happy with her performance. 

She hopped off the stage once she was done and met her friends at the side of the stage. Lily was still carrying the dog and Avery was seriously wondering if the owner really was looking for him.

“You did good,” Debra said and kissed her head, keeping her close.

“We should get food. I’m starving,” Amanda suggested and Lily and Avery agreed. Food did seem good.

“Hey! That’s our dog!” An angry man came up with another man traveling behind him. Avery guessed they were married. He snatched the dog out of Lily’s arms.

“Sorry, dude. I was looking for the owner. Promise.” Lily shrugged her shoulders.

The angry man stormed off, the husband trying to soothe him. Lily didn't think anything of it and shrugged again.

“Hot dogs?” Amanda reminded them and they all agreed, beginning to walk towards a vendor through the crowds.

It all happened so fast and Avery still can’t quite remember every detail. There was screaming from the crowd. She thought maybe a fight had broken out or maybe another celebrity. She turned around. This was much different than those things. Lily had her hands over her mouth and Amanda was grinning happily. Debra had knelt on one knee, holding a black box. She opened it to reveal a simple yet gorgeous ring. The crowd went silent and not a sound could be heard.

“I had a speech planned out, but I forgot now,” She chuckled and let out a huff of air. She was nervous but anyone in her situation would be. “When I was growing up, I couldn’t be who I wanted to be. You know this. I was always yelled at and never felt safe. But with you, it’s different. Not only can I be that here, but I can be that with you too. You make me feel so happy, safe, and warm. I never thought I deserved to feel that way, but with you, I know that I deserve only to feel that way.”

Avery had tears running down her cheeks. She didn’t think this would happen for another few years if they stuck together, but it was happening now. Debra was always one to make a surprise.

Debra took a deep breath. “Will you marry me?”

And somehow, the crowd went even more silent and waited for her answer.


	21. Los Angeles Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A set up for the next book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three years later

Avery trudged through the door, tired and wanting to pass out. She had gotten back from a meeting discussing her fourth album. She was beyond excited and ready to start working on it as soon as possible. It was a small meeting with only a few people. The major marketing meeting of meetings would happen next week where she could officially begin.

Snowflake trotted up to her and jumped on his hind legs to greet her. He was a big boy and nearly took down Avery when he got excited. Avery gently pushed him down so she wouldn't get knocked down and knelt on the floor, petting him. Avery always missed him when she went out.

“Hey, buddy! Where’s your other mom?” She asked, playing with him a little. Snowflake barked his response.

Dbra had not gone to the meeting. She was suffering from the flu and all she wanted to do was lay in bed. Normally she would brush the sickness off and continue but this had hit her hard. Her joints were hurting, she kept freezing her butt off, and she couldn’t get her headache to go away.

Avery gave Snowflake a little kiss on his head and went into the bedroom. She expected Debra to be curled up in bed and wrapped up in blankets. However, the bed was not occupied.

“Debra?” She asked and she heard rustling from the bathroom that was connected to their room. She followed the sounds and opened up the bathroom door. Debra was in it, crouched by the toilet. Avery closed the door. 

“Are you okay?” Avery asked, moving towards her wife to help her up.

They had gotten married in the courthouse. Neither one of them were huge on fancy weddings and wanted it to be more small and intimate than big and public. They still went on a honeymoon in the Bahamas for a couple of weeks before returning home to work on Avery’s third album.

“I’m okay. I just felt a little nauseous for a minute,” She explained. Her eyes were closed, like she was trying not to get sick. Avery watched her for a minute and Debra popped back up. “I’m fine now!” 

“How about a bath?” Avery suggested. “It might clear your head some.”

Debra nodded and began taking her sweats and t-shirt off. She wasn’t wearing a bra and Avery thought that was super hot. But she knew that now wasn’t the time to have sex.

Avery turned the water on and the jets in hopes that the heat and soft pressure would help Debra. She took off her own clothes and hopped in the jacuzzi as well. Avery held out her hand and helped Debra into the jacuzzi once she sat down.

Debra leaned against the tile wall behind her, resting her head on it with her eyes closed again. Avery was right. The best part was the steam helping her congestion. The tension in her joints were soon relieved by the jets and she knew that she would become tired soon. However, right now she just wanted to be in the tub with her wife. 

“You were right. This is helping a lot,” Debra said after about five minutes. She opened her eyes to see Avery watching her.

“I’m glad.”

Just then, Snowflake decided to join the party and barged his way through the door, coming up to the tub. He noticed the tub of water and dipped his mouth in it, lapping the water up.

“Hey!” Debra scolded and gently pushed his mouth away from the water. “What am I going to do with you? Should I send you back to the shelter?”

Avery glared at Debra and pet Snowflake. “You can’t do that, buddy. It’s not drinking water,” Avery explained and Debra snorted. 

Snowflake eventually laid down. Avery scooted closer to Debra.

“You’re gonna get yourself sick.” Debra scolds her this time.

“That’s okay.”

They rest in silence for a minute, enjoying each other’s company. She had been so busy these last few years and didn't know when or how to stop. Avery and Debra had created their own successful charity to help not only kids, but adults as well, with cancer. After having a small part in Lexi’s life, she wanted to be a big part in other kids’ lives. Lily and Amanda were still together, stronger than ever as well. They had even gotten a little bulldog of their own named Raisin. Avery had also won a Grammy for Album of the Year and it was something she’d never forget. Everything had been perfect. But she couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. 

“Hey Debra?” She asked.

Debra pulled away from her slightly so she could look at her. “Yeah?”

“Do you ever feel like something’s missing?”

Debra looked down at the water and the jets. “Not really, no. I have everything I need. Could there be more? Sure. But I don’t think anything is missing.”

Avery took a deep breath. This could go so right or so wrong but she felt like she needed to ask. She had been thinking about this for a while and felt like it had taken over too much of her brain to just let it go. She could do this. It wasn’t that hard.

“Would you want to have a baby?”


End file.
